(Razno, Humor) With great power...

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Ko raume razumeće :rotf:

Q: What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
A: You can't hear an enzyme.
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Two atoms walk into a bar, and there's a shady looking character lurking around. A few minutes later this guy walks over to the toilet but on the way, bumps into one of the atoms before moving off quickly. The atom pats himself down and says to the other, with a look of horror;
'Mate, I think that guy just nicked one of my electrons.'
His friend replies; 'Are you sure?'
'Yeah..' He says back, I'm positive!'
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Photons have mass; I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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How do you do it?
The first three my friend sent me:

Astrophysicists appear to do it at a furious rate due to the effects of time dilation.

String theorists cannot agree on how to do it but are all certain it is very complicated.

Black hole cosmologists cannot tell you how they do it because the information is only released as Hawking radiation over billions of years.


Quantum physicists are too small to do it.

Pancomputationalists seem to think it's the same thing they do on the computer.

Astronomers never get any sleep because of it.

Particle physicists always end up doing it with a crowd.

Solipsists can never find a partner.

Young earth creationists condemn it entirely.
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Pascal, Tesla and Newton are playing hide and go seek.
While Tesla's counting to a hundred, Pascal runs off and hides behind a bush while Newton just draws a square in the dirt right behind Tesla and steps inside it. When Tesla is finished, he turns around and says right away: "I see Newton!" and Newton replies: "Not so fast, I'm a Newton over metre squared, that's a Pascal!
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I wish I was DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes.
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Once I had multiple personalities, but now we are feeling well.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The best thing about being schizophrenic is that I'm never alone.
Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you!
Hypochondria is the only illness that I don't have.
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A computer salesman, a hardware engineer, and a software engineer are driving in a car together. Suddenly the right rear tire blows out, and the car rolls to a stop. Our three heroes pile out to investigate.

The salesman announces sadly, "Time to buy a new car!"

Says the hardware engineer, "Well, first let's try swapping the front and rear tires, and see if that fixes it."

Replies the software engineer, "Now, let's just try driving the car again, and maybe the problem will go away by itself.
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A student asks: "Is the speed of light faster than the speed of sound?"
A peer responds: "Yes, that is why someone can appear smart before they say anything."
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A software engineer's wife sends him to the groceries:
"Buy a turkey. And if they have eggs - take 10."
The man goes to the groceries and returns with 10 turkeys.
"Why the hell did you take so many turkeys?" - asks his wife.
"How why?!? They had eggs..."
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Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.'
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Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.
The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me."
The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
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When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."
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Pi and i are having a dispute:
i says to Pi "be rational" and Pi says to i "get real".
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A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve superconductors of any kind."
The room temperature superconductor... leaves without putting up any resistance.
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A Neutrino walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve Neutrino's in this bar."
The Neutrino says "That's alright, I'm just passing through."
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"Quantum mechanics, hmmm. You put a cat in a box, along with a hammer and
some poison and a radioactive isotope ... I forget exactly how this goes.
Anyway, keep some bandages on hand, because I guarantee the cat won't be
happy."
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Q: What's the difference between a quantum mechanic and an auto mechanic?
A: A quantum mechanic can get his car into the garage without opening the door
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Paganko:
http://www.vesti011.com/2012/02/vodeći-evolucionista-redovno-posećuje-svingerske-klubove/

:hahaha1:
Kliknite za proširenje...

A.... Miroljub je ne neumoljiv i očigledno nije upoznat da Stiven pati od te bolesti od rane mladosti dok još nije postao poznat i sexy. Inače dotični gosn Petrović koji je vlasnik te internet stranice (vesti011) osporava Ajnštajnovu teoriju relativiteta....baš bi voleo da objasni kako to gps radi onda.
Lično sebe smatram vernikom i kreacionistom ali neću slepo da prihvatim "činjenice" koje soli neki "autoritet" odbegli Adventista, Jevrejin, Pravoslavac koji svoje informacije uzima od američkih ekstremista koji su verovatno članovi KKK.... Pri tome odlično unovčuje svoju rabotu.
Nauka je mnogo više od dogme.....
 
Pročitah ovo na jednoj temi i ne mogu da prestanem da se smejem... :zcepanje: :rotf: :hahaha1:

Odkud evolucija zna da stvori toliko razlicitih mleka???
Nijedna zivotinja nema mleko kao covek a sve je ipak mleko.
Zar to nije Bozje cudo?
Isto a drugacije.
Svaka zivotinja ima specificno mleko za svoju vrstu.
Cak mleko u prahu koje se pravi za zivotinje nije isto nego specificno za zvaku vrstu.
Za tele je drugo za psa drugo za macku drugo za coveka drugo !!!
Kliknite za proširenje...
 
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