Tom Vejts - tekstovi pesama (Tom Waits lyrics)

"Nobody"

Nobody, nobody
Will ever love you the way I could love you
Cause nobody, nobody is that strong

Love is bittersweet
And life's treasures deep
And no one can keep a love that's gone wrong

Nobody, nobody
Will love you the way that I could
Cause nobody, nobody's that strong
Cause nobody is that strong

Nobody, nobody
Will ever love you the way I can love you
Cause nobody, nobody's that strong

You've had many lovers
You'll have many others
But they'll only just break your poor heart in two

Nobody, nobody
Will love you the way that I could
Cause nobody, nobody's that strong
Cause nobody is that strong
 
"Tom Traubert's Blues"

Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did, I've got what I paid for now
See you tomorrow, hey Frank, can I borrow a couple of bucks from you
To go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
You'll go waltzing Mathilda with me

I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley
And I'm tired of all these soldiers here
No one speaks English, and everything's broken, and my Stacys are soaking wet
To go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
You'll go waltzing Mathilda with me

Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab's parking
A lot they can do for me
I begged you to stab me, you tore my shirt open,
And I'm down on my knees tonight
Old Bushmill's I staggered, you'd bury the dagger
In your silhouette window light go
To go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
You'll go waltzing Mathilda with me

Now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I've kissed her
And the one-armed bandit knows
And the maverick Chinamen, and the cold-blooded signs,
And the girls down by the strip-tease shows, go
Waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
You'll go waltzing Mathilda with me

No, I don't want your sympathy, the fugitives say
That the streets aren't for dreaming now
And manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories,
They want a piece of the action anyhow
Go waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
You'll go waltzing Mathilda with me

And you can ask any sailor, and the keys from the jailor,
And the old men in wheelchairs know
And Mathilda's the defendant, she killed about a hundred,
And she follows wherever you may go
Waltzing Mathilda, waltzing Mathilda,
You'll go waltzing Mathilda with me

And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace,
And a wound that will never heal
No prima donna, the perfume is on an
Old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
And goodnight to the street sweepers, the night watchmen flame keepers
And goodnight to Mathilda, too
 
"Step Right Up"

Step right up, step right up, step right up,
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales
You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
Don't be caught with your drawers down,
Don't be caught with your drawers down
You can step right up, step right up

That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up

'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up,
C'mon and step right up
 
"Jitterburg Boys"

Well, I'm a jitterbug boy, by the shoe-shine
Resting on my laurels and my hardys too
Life of Riley on a swing shift, gears follow my drift
Once upon a time I was in show-biz too
I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers playing at Ebbets Field
Seen the Kentucky Derby too
It's fast women, slow horses, unreliable sources,
And I'm holding up the lamp-post if you want to know
I've seen the Wabash Cannonball, buddy, I've done it all
'Cause I slept with the lions and Marilyn Monroe,
Had breakfast in the eye of a hurricane
Fought Rocky Marciano, played Minnesota Fats,
Burned hundred-dollar bills, I've eaten Mulligan stew
Got drunk with Louis Armstrong, what's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle everything that he knows
So you ask me what I'm doing here holding up the lamp-post,
Flipping this quarter, trying to make up my mind
And if it's heads I go to Tennessee, and tails I buy a drink,
If it lands on the edge I keep talking to you
[scat]
 
"I Wish I Was In New Orleans (In The Ninth Ward)"

Well, I wish I was in New Orleans, I can see it in my dreams,
Arm-in-arm down Burgundy, a bottle and my friends and me

Hoist up a few tall cool ones, play some pool and listen
To that tenor saxophone calling me home
And I can hear the band begin "When the Saints Go Marching In",
And by the whiskers on my chin, New Orleans, I'll be there

I'll drink you under the table, be red-nosed, go for walks,
The old haunts what I wants is red beans and rice
And wear the dress I like so well, and meet me at the old saloon,
Make sure that there's a Dixie moon, New Orleans, I'll be there

And deal the cards roll the dice, if it ain't that old Chuck E. Weiss,
And Claiborne Avenue, me and you Sam Jones and all

And I wish I was in New Orleans, 'cause I can see it in my dreams,
Arm-in-arm down Burgundy, a bottle and my friends and me
New Orleans, I'll be there
 
"The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)"

The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...

And the menus are all freezing, and the light man's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler cream-puff casper milktoast
And the owner is a mental midget with the I.Q. of a fence post
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...

And you can't find your waitress with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can't get served without her
And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
 
"Invitation To The Blues"

Well she's up against the register with an apron and a spatula,
Yesterday's deliveries, tickets for the bachelors
She's a moving violation from her conk down to her shoes,
Well, it's just an invitation to the blues

And you feel just like Cagney, she looks like Rita Hayworth
At the counter of the Schwab's drugstore
You wonder if she might be single, she's a loner and likes to mingle
Got to be patient, try and pick up a clue

She said "How you gonna like 'em, over medium or scrambled?",
You say "Anyway's the only way", be careful not to gamble
On a guy with a suitcase and a ticket getting out of here
It's a tired bus station and an old pair of shoes
This ain't nothing but an invitation to the blues

But you can't take your eyes off her, get another cup of java,
It's just the way she pours it for you, joking with the customers
Mercy mercy, Mr. Percy, there ain't nothing back in Jersey
But a broken-down jalopy of a man I left behind
And the dream that I was chasing, and a battle with booze
And an open invitation to the blues

But she used to have a sugar daddy and a candy-apple Caddy,
And a bank account and everything, accustomed to the finer things
He probably left her for a socialite, and he didn't love her 'cept at night,
And then he's drunk and never even told her that he cared
So they took the registration, and the car-keys and her shoes
And left her with an invitation to the blues

'Cause there's a Continental Trailways leaving local bus tonight, good evening
You can have my seat, I'm sticking round here for a while
Get me a room at the Squire, the filling station's hiring,
And I can eat here every night, what the hell have I got to lose?
Got a crazy sensation, go or stay? now I gotta choose,
And I'll accept your invitation to the blues
 
"Bad Liver And A Broken Heart (In Lowell)"

Well I got a bad liver and broken heart, yeah,
I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink
And I wish you'd a-known her, we were quite a pair,
She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer
So welcome to the continuing saga, she was my better half, and I was just a dog
And so here am I slumped, I've been chipped and I've been chumped on my stool
So buy this fool some spirits and libations, it's these railroad station bars
And all these conductors and porters, and I'm all out of quarters
And this epitaph is the aftermath, yeah I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath,
He's a lawyer, he ain't the one for ya
No, the moon ain't romantic, it's intimidating as hell,
And some guy's trying to sell me a watch
And so I'll meet you at the bottom of a bottle of bargain Scotch
I got me a bottle and a dream, it's so maudlin it seems,
You can name your poison, go on ahead and make some noise
I ain't sentimental, this ain't a purchase, it's a rental, and it's purgatory,
And hey, what's your story, well I don't even care
'Cause I got my own double-cross to bear

And I'll see your Red Label, and I'll raise you one more,
And you can pour me a cab, I just can't drink no more,
'Cause it don't douse the flames that are started by dames,
It ain't like asbestos
It don't do nothing but rest us assured,
And substantiate the rumors that you've heard
 
"The One That Got Away"

Well this gigolo's jumping salty, ain't no trade out on the streets,
Half past the unlucky, and the hawk's a front-row seat
Dressed in full orchestration, stage-door Johnny's got to pay,
And sent him home talking 'bout the one that got away

Could have been on Easy Street, could have been a wheel,
With irons in the fire and all them business deals
But the last of the big-time losers shouted before he drove away,
"I'll be right back, as soon as I crack the one that got away"

Well, the ambulance drivers, they don't give a shit,
They just want to get off work, and
The short stop and the victim are already gone berserk
And the shroud-tailor measures him for a deep-six holiday,
The stiff is froze, the case is closed on the one that got away

Now Jim Crow's directing traffic with them cemetery blues,
With them peculiar-looking trousers, them old Italian shoes
And a wooden kimono that was all ready to drop in San Francisco Bay
But he's mumbling something all about the one that got away

And Costello was the champion at the St. Moritz Hotel,
And the best this side of Fairfax, reliable sources tell
But his reputation is at large, and he's at Ben Frank's every day,
Waiting for the one that got away

He got a snakeskin sportshirt, and he looks like Vincent Price,
With a little piece of chicken, and he's carving off a slice
Someone tipped her off, and she'll be doing a Houdini now any day
She shook his hustle, and a Greyhound bus'll take the one that got away

Well, Andre's at the piano behind the Ivar in the sewers,
With a buck a shot for pop tunes, and a fin for guided tours
He could-a been in "Casa Blanca", he stood in line out there all day
Now he's spilling whiskey and learning songs about a one that got away

Well I've lost my equilibrium and my car keys and my pride,
The tattoo parlor's warm, and so I hustle there inside
And the grinding off the buzz-saw, "What you want that thing to say?"
I says, "Just don't misspell her name, buddy, she's the one that got away"
 
"Small Change (Got Rained On With His Own .38)"

Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight,
And nobody flinched down by the arcade
And the marquees weren't weeping, they went stark-raving mad,
And the cabbies were the only ones that really had it made
And his cold trousers were twisted, and the sirens high and shrill,
And crumpled in his fist was a five-dollar bill
And the naked mannequins with their Cheshire grins,
And the raconteurs and roustabouts said "Buddy, come on in, 'cause
'Cause the dreams ain't broken down here now, they're walking with a limp
Now that Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight"

And nobody flinched down by the arcade
And the burglar alarm's been disconnected,
And the newsmen start to rattle
And the cops are telling jokes about some whorehouse in Seattle
And the fire hydrants plead the Fifth Amendment
And the furniture is bargains galore
But the blood is by the jukebox on an old linoleum floor
And what a hot rain on Forty-Second Street,
And now the umbrellas ain't got a chance
And the newsboy's a lunatic with stains on his pants, 'cause
'Cause Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight

And no one's gone over to close his eyes
And there's a racing form in his pocket,
Circled "Blue Boots" in the third
And the cashier at the clothing store didn't say a word
As the siren tears the night in half, and someone lost his wallet
Well, a surveillance of assailance, it that's what you want to call it
And the whores hike up their skirts and fish for drug-store prophylactics
With their mouths cut just like razor blades and their eyes are like stilettos
And her radiator's steaming and her teeth are in a wreck, and nah,
She won't let you kiss her, but what the hell do you expect?
And the Gypsies are tragic and if you want to buy perfume,
Well, they'll bark you down like carneys, sell you Christmas cards in June, but
But Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight

And his headstone's a gumball machine,
No more chewing gum or baseball cards or overcoats or dreams
Someone's hosing down the sidewalk, and he's only in his teens, 'cause
'Cause Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight

And a fistful of dollars can't change that,
And someone copped his watch fob, and someone got his ring
And the newsboy got his porkpie Stetson hat
And the tuberculosis old men at the Nelson wheeze and cough
And someone will head south until this whole thing cools off, 'cause
'Cause Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight, yeah,
Small Change got rained on with his own thirty-eight
 
"I Can't Wait To Get Off Work (And See My Baby On Montgomery Avenue)"

I don't mind working, 'cause I used to be jerking off most of my time in bars,
I've been a cabbie and a stock clerk and a soda-fountain jock-jerk
And a manic mechanic on cars.
It's nice work if you can get it, now who the hell said it?
I got money to spend on my gal,
But the work never stops, and I'll be busting my chops
Working for Joe and Sal.

And I can't wait to get off work and see my baby,
She said she'd leave the porch light on for me.
I'm disheveled and I'm disdainful and I'm distracted and it's painful,
But this job sweeping up here is gainfully employing me tonight.

Well "Tom, do this" and "Tom, do that", and "Tom, don't do that",
Count the cash, clean the oven, dump the trash,
Oh your loving is a rare and a copacetic gift,
And I'm a moonlight watch manic, it's hard to be romantic
Sweeping up over by the cigarette machine,
Sweeping up over by the cigarette machine...

I can't wait to get off work and see my baby
She'll be waiting up with a magazine for me.
Clean the bathrooms and clean 'em good, oh your loving I wish you would
Come down here and sweep a-me off my feet, this broom'll have to be my baby,
If I hurry, I just might get off before the dawn's early light.
 
"Muriel"

muriel since you left town the clubs closed down
and there's one more burned out lamppost down on the main street
down where we used to stroll
and muriel i still hit all the same old haunts
and you follow me wherever i go
and muriel i see you on a saturday night
in a penny arcade with your hair tied back
and the diamond twinkle in your eye
is the only wedding ring i'll buy you
muriel

and muriel how many times i've left this town
to hide from your memory
and it haunts me
but i only get as far as the next whiskey bar
i buy another cheap cigar and i'll see you every night
hey muriel muriel
hey buddy got a light
 
"I Never Talk To Strangers"

stop me if you've heard this one
i feel as though we've met before
perhaps i'm mistaken
but it's just that i remind you
of someone you used to care about
but that was long ago
do you think i'd fall for that
i wasn't born yesterday
besides i never talk to strangers anyway

i ain't a bad guy when you get to know me
i just thought there ain't no harm
hey just try minding your own business
bud who asked you to annoy me
with your sad repartee
besides i never talk to strangers anyway

your life's a dimestore novel
this town is full of guys like you
and you're looking for someone to take the place of her
and you're bitter cause he left you
that's why you're drinkin in this bar
well only suckers fall in love
with perfect strangers

it always takes one to know one stranger
maybe we're just wiser now
and been around the block so many times
that we don't notice
that we're all just perfect strangers
as long as we ignore
that we all begin as strangers
just before we find
we really aren't strangers anymore
 
"Medley: Jack & Neal / California, Here I Come"

jack was sittin poker faced with bullets backed with bitches
neal hunched at the wheel puttin everyone in stiches
braggin bout this nurse he screwed while drivin through nebraska
and when she came she honked the horn and neal just barely missed a
truck and then he asked her if she'd like to come like that to californy
see a red head in a uniform will always get you horny
with her hairnet and those white shoes and a name tag and a hat
she drove like andy granatelli and knew how to fix a flat
and jack was almost at the bottom of his md 2020 neal was yellin
out the window tryin to buy some bennies from a lincoln
full of mexicans whose left rear tire blowed and the sonsobitches
prit near almost ran off the road

well the nurse had spilled the manoshevitz all up and down her dress
then she lit the map on fire neal just had to guess
should we try and find a bootleg route or a fillin station open
the nurse was dumpin out her purse lookin for an envelope and
jack was out of cigarettes we crossed the yellow line
the gas pumps looked like tombstones from here
felt lonelier than a parking lot when the last car pulls away
and the moonlight dressed the double breasted foothills
in the mirror weaving outa negligee and a black brassiere
the mercury was runnin hot and almost out of gas
just then florence nightingale dropped her drawers and
stuck her fat ass half way out of the window with a
wilson pickett tune
and shouted get a load of this and gave the finger to the moon

countin one eyed jacks and whistling dixie in the car
neal was doin least a hundred when we saw a fallin star
florence wished that neal would hold her stead of chewin
his cigar jack was noddin out and dreamin he was in a bar
with charlie parker on the bandstand not a worry in the world
and a glass of beer in one hand and his arm around a girl
and neal was singin to the nurse
underneath a harlem moon
and somehow you could just tell we'd be in california soon
 
"A Sight For Sore Eyes"

hey sight for sore eyes it's a long time no see
workin hard hardly workin hey man you know me
water under the bridge didya see my new car
well it's bought and it's payed for parked outside of the bar

and hey barkeeper what's keepin you keep pourin drinks
for all these palookas hey you know what i thinks
that we toast to the old days and dimagio too
and old drysdale and mantle whitey ford and to you

no the old gang ain't around everyone has left town
'cept for thumm and giardina said they just might be down
oh half drunk all the time and i'm all drunk the rest
yea monk's till the champion but i'm the best

i guess you heard about nash he was killed in a crash
hell that must of been two or three years ago now
yea he spun out and he rolled he hit a telephone pole
and he died with the radio on
no she's married and with a kid finally split up with sid
he's up north for a nickle's worth for armed robbery

hey i'll play you some pin ball hell you ain't got a chance
well then go on over and ask her to dance
 
"Potter's Field"

well you can buy me a drink and i'll tell you what i seen
and i'll give you a bargain from the edge of a maniac's dream
that buys a black widow spider with a riddle in his yarn
that's clinging to the furrow of a blindman's brow
i'll start talking from the brim of a thimble full of whiskey
on a train through the bronx that will take you just as far
as the empty of a bottle to the highway of a scar
that stretched across the blacktop of my cheek like that
and then ducks beneath the brim of a fugitive's hat
and you'll learn why liquor makes a stool pigeon rat on every face
that ever left his shadow down on saint marks place

hell i'd double cross my mother if it was whiskey that they payed
and so an early bird says nightsticks on the hit parade
and he ain't got a prayer and his days are numbered
and you'll track him down like a dog
well it's a tough customer you're getting in this trade
Óause the nightstick's heart pumps lemonade
well whiskey keeps a blindman talkin alright
and i'm the only one who knows just where he stayed last night

he was in a wreckin yard in a switchblade storm
in a wheelbarrow with nothing but revenge to keep him warm
and a half a million dollars in unmarked bills
was the nightstick's blanket in a febuary chill
and as the buzzard drove a crooked sky
he was dealin high chicago in the mud
and stackin' the deck against a dragnet's eye
a shivering nightstick in a miserable heap
with the siren for a lullaby singing him to sleep
he was bleeding from a buttonhole
torn by a slug fired from the barrel of a two dollar gun
that scorched a blister on the grip of a punk by now
is learnin what you have to pay to be a hero anyhow

he dressed the hole in his gut with a hundred dollar bandage
a king's ransom for a bedspread that don't amount to nuttin
just cobweb strings on a busted ukulele
and the nightstick leaned on a black shillelagh
with the poison of a junkie's broken promise on his lip

he staggered in the shadows screaming i ain't never been afraid
and he shot out every street light on the promenade
past the frozen ham and eggers at the penny arcade
throwin out handfuls of a blood stained salary
they were dead in their tracks at the shootin gallery
and they fired off a twenty one gun salute
and from the corner of his eye he caught the alabaster orbs
and from a dime a dance hall girl and stuffed a thousand dollar bill
in her blouse and caught the cruel and unusual punishment of her smile
and the nightstick winked beneath a rainsoaked brim
ain't no one seen hide nor hair of him see
no one but a spade on rikers island and me
and so if you're mad enough to listen to a full of whiskey blindman
then you're mad enough to look beyond where bloodhounds dare to go
so if you want to know just where the nightstick's hidin out
you be down at the ferry landin oh let's say bout half past a nightmare
when it's twisted on a clock you tell 'em nickels sentcha
whiskey always makes him talk
and you ask for captain charon with the mud on his kicks
he's the skipper of the deadline steamer
and she sails from the bronx across the river styx
and a riddle's just a ticket for a dreamer

cause when the weathervane's sleepin and the moon turns his back
you crawl on your belly long the railroad tracks
and cross your heart and hope to die and stick a needle in your eye
cause he'd cut my bleedin heart out if he found out that i squealed
cause you see a scarecrow's just a hoodlum
who marked the cards that he dealed
and pulled a gypsy switch
out on the edge of potter's field
 
"Burma Shave"

licorice tattoo turned a gun metal blue scrawled across the shoulders
of a dying town the one eyed jacks across the railroad tracks
and the scar on its belly pulled a stranger passing through
he was a juvenile delinquent never learned how to behave
but the cops would never think to look in
burma shave

and the road was like a ribbon and the moon was like a bone
he didn't seem to be like any guy she'd ever known
he kinda looked like farley granger with his hair slicked back
she says i'm a sucker for a fella in a cowboy hat
how far are you going he said depends on what you mean
he says i'm going thataway just as long as it's paved
i guess you'd say i'm on my way to
burma shave

and her knees up on the glove compartment
took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
and she popped her gum and arched her back
hell marysville ain't nothing but a wide spot in the road
some night my heart pounds just like thunder
i don't know why it don't explode
cause everyone in this stinking town has got one foot in the grave
and i'd rather take my chances out in
burma shave

presley's what i go by why don't you change the station
count the grain elevators in the rearview mirror
mister anywhere you point this thing
has got to beat the hell out of the sting
of going to bed with every dream that dies here every mornin
and so drill me a hole with a barber pole
i'm jumping my parole just like a fugitive tonight
why don't you have another swig
and pass that car if you're so brave
i wanna get there before the sun comes up in
burma shave

and the spider web crack and the mustang screamed
smoke from the tires and the twisted machine
just a nickel's worth of dreams and every wishbone that they saved
lie swindled from them on the way to
burma shave

and the sun hit the derrick and cast a bat wing shadow
up against the car door on the shot gun side
and when they pulled her from the wreck you know she
still had on her shades
they say that dreams are growing wild just this side of
burma shave
 
"Barber Shop"

good mornin mr. snip snip snip witchur haircut jus as short as mine
bay rum lucky tiger butch wax cracker jacks shoe shine jaw breaker
magazine racks hangin round the barber shop a side burnin close crop
mornin mr. furgeson what's the good word witcha been
stayin outa trouble like a good boy should i see you're still cuttin hair
well i'm still cuttin classes i just couldn't hep myself
i got a couple of passes to the ringle bros. barn bail circus afternoon
i see you lost a little round the middle and your lookin reel good
sittin on the wagon stead of under the hood
what's the low down mr. brown heard you boy's leavin town
i just bought myself a struggle buggy suckers powder blue
throw me over sports page cincinnati's lookin' good
always been for pittsburgh lay you 10 to 1
that the pirates get the pennant and the series for their done
you know the hair's gettin longer and the skirts gettin shorter
you can get a cheaper haircut if you wanna cross the border
now if your mama saw you smokin why she'd kick your ass
put it out you little juvenile and put it out fast
oh if i had a million dollars well what would i do
probly be a barber not a bum like you
still gotchur paper route now that's just fine
now you can pay me double cause you gypped me last time
you be keepin little circus money and spend it on a girl
know i give the best haircuts in the whole wide world
 
"Foreign Affair"

when travelling abroad in the continental style
it's my belief one must attempt to be discreet
and subsequently bear in mind your transient position
allows you a perspective that's unique
though you'll find your itinerary's a blessing and a curse
your wanderlust won't let you settle down
and you'll wonder how you ever fathomed that you'd be content
to stay within the city limits of a small midwestern town
most vagabonds i knowed don't ever want to find the culprit
that remains the object of their long relentless quest
the obsession's in the chasing and not the apprehending
the pursuit you see and never the arrest

without fear of contradiction bon voyage is always hollered
in conjunction with a handkerchief from shore
by a girl that drives a rambler and furthermore
is overly concerned that she won't see him anymore
planes and trains and boats and buses
characteristically evoke a common attitude of blue
unless you have a suitcase and a ticket and a passport
and the cargo that they're carrying is you
a foreign affair juxtaposed with a stateside
and domestically approved romantic fancy
is mysteriously attractive due to circumstances knowing
it will only be parlayed into a memory
 
"Red Shoes By The Drugstore"

she wore red shoes by the newstand
as the rain splashed the nickle
spilled like chablis along the midway
theres a little bluejay
in a red dress, on a sad night

one straw in a rootbeer
a compact with a cracked mirror
and a bottle of evening in paris perfume
whats this sad tune

he told her to wait by the magazines
he had to take care of some business it seems
bring a raincoat
and a suitcase
and your dark eyes
and wear those red shoes

theres a dark huddle at the bus stop
unbrellas arranged in a sad bouquet
Li'l cesar got caught
he has going down to second
he has cooled
changing stations on the chamber
to steal a diamond
from a jewelry store for his baby
he loved the way she looked
in those red shoes

she waited by the drugstore
cesaer had never been late before
and the dogs bayed the moon
and rattled their chains
and the cold jingle of taps in a puddle
was the burgler alarm
snitchin on cesaer

note the rain washes memories from the sidewalks
and the hounds splash down the nickle
full of soldiers
and santa claus is drunk in the ski room
and it's christmas eve
in a sad cafe
when the moon gets this way
ther's a little blue my
by the newstand
wearing red shoes

so meet me tonight by the drugstore
w're goin' out tonight
wear your red shoes
 
"Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis"

Hey Charlie I'm pregnant and living on 9th Street
Right above a dirty bookstore off Euclid Avenue
And I stopped takin dope and I quit drinkin whiskey
And my old man plays the trombone and works out at the track

He says that he loves me even though it's not his baby
He says that he'll raise him up like he would his own son
And he gave me a ring that was worn by his mother
And he takes me out dancin every Saturday night

And hey Charlie I think about you everytime I pass a fillin station
On account of all the grease you used to wear in your hair
And I still have that record of Little Anthony and the Imperials
But someone stole my record player now how do you like that?

Hey Charlie I almost went crazy after Mario got busted
I went back to Omaha to live with my folks
But everyone I used to know was either dead or in prison
So I came back to Minneapolis this time I think I'm gonna stay

Hey Charlie I think I'm happy for the first time since my accident
And I wish I had all the money we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot and I wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car every day dependin on how I feel

Hey Charlie for chrissakes if you want to know the truth of it
I don't have a husband he don't play the trombone
I need to borrow money to pay this lawyer and Charlie hey
I'll be eligible for parole come Valentine's day
 
"Romeo Is Bleeding"

romeo is bleeding but not so as you'd notice
he's over on 18hh street as usual
lookin' so hard against the hood of his car
and puttin' out a cigarette in his hand
and for all the pachucos at the pumps
at romeros paint and body
they all seein' how far they can spit
well it was just another night
but how they're huddled in the brake lights of a 58 belair
and listenin' to how romeo killed a sherrif his knife

and they all jump when they hear the sirens
but romeo just laughs and says
all the racket in the world ain't never gonna
save that coppers ass
he'll never see another summertime for gunnin' down my brother
and leavin' him like a dog beneath a car without his knife

and romeo says hey man gimme a cigarette
and they all reach for their pack
and frankie lights it for him and pats him on the back
and throws bottle at a milk truck
and as it breaks he grabs his nuts
and they all know they could be just like romeo
if they only had the guts

but romeo is bleeding but nobody can tell
and he sings along with the radio
with a bullet in his chest
and he combs back his fenders
and they all agree its clear
that every thing is cool now that romeos here
but romeo is bleeding
and he winces now and then and he leans against
the car doors and feels the blood in his shoes
and someones crying in the phone booth
at the 5 points by thestore
romeo starts his engine
and wipes the blood off the door
and he brodys through the signal
with the radio full blast
leavin' the boys there hikin' up there chinos
and they all try to stand like romeo
beneath the moon cut like a sickle
and they're talkin' now in spanish about there hero

but romeo is bleeding as he gives the man his ticket
and he climbs to the balcony at the movies
and he'll die without a wimper
like every heros dream
just an angel with a bullet
and cagney on the screen
 
"$29.00"

little black girl in a red dress
on a hothight with a broken shoe
little black girl you shoulde never left home
theres probly someone thats still waitin' up for you
its cold back in chicago
but in los angles its worse
when all you got is $29.00 and an alligator purse

i see already that vulture in the fleetwood
with the startruse hood
can see you're trying to get you bearrings
and you say hey which ways the main stem
and where ever you say you're from
he'll say he grew up there himself

and he'll comeon and make you feel
like you grew up right next door to him
and you say take a left on a central
and he trows it in reverse
cause you only got $29.00 and an alligator purse

and he'll come on like a gentleman
and you'll be a little shy
you say you ex old man was a sax player
he'll say baby i used to play bass for sly
and you say you like his cadillac, say honey, i got 2 or 3
he'll say sweetheart you're sure fortunate
that you ran into me
when you've done a dime in the joint
you figure nothin' could be worse
and you got $29.00 and an alligator purse

well he got pharoh on the 8 track
you start smokin' a little boo
you thinkin' gettin' outofchicago was the
best thing that ever happend to you
startin' to like it already
this cat seems to be cool
and he says honey i know a good hotel out in west hollywood
that'd be just right for you
but he ain't know good samaritan
he'll make sure he's reimursed
lot more than $29.00 and a alligator purse

now the sirens just an epilog
the cops here always get there too late
they always stop for coffee on the way to the scene of the crime
then they always try so hard to look just like movie stars
they couldnt catch a cold
you ony wasting you dime
and she's lucky to be alive
the doctor whispered to the nurse
she only lost a 1/2 pint of blood
$29.00 and an alligator purse
 
"Wrong Side Of The Road"

put a dead cat on the railraod tracks
when the wolf bains blooming by the tressel
and get the eyeball of a rooster
and the stones from a ditch
and wash em down with bilge water
and say you'll never snitch
take the buttons from a yellow jacket
the feather from a buzzard
and the blood from the bounty hunters cold black heart
catch the tears of a window
in a thimble made ofglass
tell your mamaand your papa
theycan kiss your ass
poison all the water in the wishin' well
and hang all them scarecrows from a sycamore tree
burn down all those honeymoons
put em in a pillow case
and wait next to the switch blades at the amusements park for me
strangle all the cristmas carols
scratch out all you prayers
tie em up with barbed wire
and push them down the stairs
and i'll whittle you a pistol
for reepin' nightmares off the blinds
those sunsabitches always seem to sneak up from behind
syphom all the gas from your daddys pickup truck
fill up jonnys t bird
i got a couple bucks
put on little perfume and ribbon in your hair
careful that you don't wake up the hounds
tear a bolt of lightning
off the side of the sky
and throw in the cedar chest
if you want me to tell you why
bring the gear shift knob from a 49 mere
and lay down here beside me
let me hold you in the dirt
and you'll tremble as the flames
tear the throat out of the night
sink your teeth into my shoulder
dig your nails into my back
tell that lettle girl to let go of my sleeve
you'll be awoman when i catch you
as you faqll in love with me

then with my double barrel shotgun
and a whole box of shells
we'll celebrate the 4 of july
we'll do 100 mph
spendin' someone elses dough
and we'll drive all the way to reno
on the wrong side of the road
 
"Whistlin' Past The Graveyard"

well i come in on a night train
with an arm full of box cars
on the wings of a magpie
cross a hooligan night
and i busted up a chifforobe
way out by the cocomo
cooked up a mess a mulligan
and got into a fight

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm a mean motherhubbard
papa one eyes jack

you probably seen me sleepin'
out by the railroad tracks
go on and ask the prince of darkness
what about all thet smoke
come from the stack
sometimes i kill myself a jackel
suck out all the blood
steal myself a stationwagon
drivin' through the mud
whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

i know you seen my headlights
and the honkin' of my horn
i'm callin' out my bloodhounds
chase the devil through the corn
last night i chugged the mississippi
now that suckers dry as a bone
born in a taxi cab
i'm never comin' home

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

myeyes have seen the glory
of the drainin' og the ditch
i only come to baton rouge
to find myself a witch
i'm-ona snatch me up a
couple of em every time itrains
you see a locomotive
probably thinkin' its a train

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm a mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

what you think is the sunshine
is just a twinkle in my eye
that ring around my fingers
just the 4th of july
when i get a little bit lonesome
and a tear falls from my check
theres gonna be an ocean in
the middle of the week

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack

i rode into town on a night train
with an arm full of box cars
on the wings of a magpie
cross a hooligan night
i'm-ona tear me off a rainbow
and wear it for a tie
i never told the truth
so i can never tell a lie

whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
i'm mean motherhubbard
papa one eyed jack
 
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