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POMAGAJTE DRUGOVI.... TARARARARA....+UNHOLY GATES OF MIDIAN+:mogu i ja da vam pomognem,ako treba...
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odlican intervju... 
How Bizarre are you?
Ville Valo
The frontman of Finnish Love Metal band HIM on dropping his granny and sniffing Jimi Hendrix
Words: James Doorne
What's the weirdest animal you’ve ever ridden?
A turtle, which is not that weird.
I disagree. Tell me more.
I got asthma young so I couldn’t have normal pets. I sat on it and tried to ride it. Unfortunately, the doctors said I was also allergic to reptile shit so I couldn’t have any snakes or anything like that. Having no pets was very exhausting spiritually and mentally. The depression and the existential problematics turned me into an alcoholic. When I grew up I was the only child in the family. My dog Sammy taught me to walk. When he died I cursed the gods.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth?
A bandmate’s piss. That was for a bet, not for sexual pleasure. We’re like blood brothers but we are piss brothers. It is almost as close as you can be to a male person without being homosexual. It is very close. It is kind of exciting but not too exciting.
What were you thinking?
I just tasted it.
Why?
For the sake of it. If you are going to share your life with people, share your passions and dreams, then you are going to share your pee too.
I’m going to tell my girlfriend that.
You can try it. Good luck.
Do you have any recurring dreams?
I have vivid dreams of flying. When I was a kid I was convinced I could fly. It’s not like flying over the mountains, it is more like me jumping and staying in the air. I don’t know what it represents. I used to keep a dream diary but it got way too chaotic. My dreams were extreme and didn’t obey the laws of nature or physics and I kept mixing them with real life. I used to have sexually explicit dreams where I was flying and then drown in water. It makes even the strongest guy feel a bit weird.
Have you ever seen a UFO?
No. I’ve smelled a ghost though. We recorded at Electric Lady Land studio in New York where people claim there is Jimi Hendrix’s ghost. One night I came out of the studio, walked through the corridor, there was nobody there, but I could smell a puff of hash/ I’m convinced it was Jimi Hendrix’s ghost. I just sucked it in and hoped for the best. I am so proud of that. Artistically it was one of my most important achievements ever.
I’m no scientist but I reckon I could crack you open and retrieve a small sample of Jimi’s DNA out of you.
We’ll see the wonders it does to my pecker.
Do you believe in aliens?
I would love to. I would love to be abducted and have them stealing my sperm and conducting weird experiments. It would be fantastic. I have never had any of that weird stuff happen to me. Maybe I am just blind.
Do you collect anything weird?
I collect ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ signs form hotels. I’ve got maybe 400 of them. I was thinking of having an exhibition. You can always tell the quality of a hotel by the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ signs. If they have spent money on the design it is a good hotel. They should probably just scan the pictures of the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ signs onto their websites to help us choose the right ones.
What is your idea of hell?
Probably the Christian idea of heaven: sitting on a ******* cloud all day, listening to this old bastard with grey hair. I think the Christian hell will be my heaven. I think after the cold of Finland I’ll be ready for hell. I’ll send you a postcard.
What’s the most violent thing you have done?
I’ve always been kind of a nice guy. I’m never got into fights and that. I am really bad at team sports but for some reason I still wanted to be the David Beckham of my generation.
When I went to my first soccer practice we had a rehearsal match and I was determined to get it in the goal, but someone took the ball off me. So I punched that fucker on the nose and then climbed up a tree and wouldn’t come down until my parents picked me up. It was then I decided team sports weren’t for me. They cause violence in me.
Do you ever hear voices in your head?
Yeah, when I haven’t been sleeping at all. I am super sensitive to staying awake. That is the reason I have never done speed. If I am awake for 24 hours I start hearing these weird, childlike voices in my head.
Do they tell you to do things?
Yeah. They tell me to kill myself and things like that. That is when I drop a Xanax and go to bed. To drive me onto the brink of insanity just spike my drink with speed.
Have you ever seen a dead body?
No, but I have carried one in a coffin. That was my grandmother. I almost saw that body. The Finnish winter is harsh and the graveyard was slippery; we nearly dropped the coffin into the grave. Embarrassing moment. Some of us nearly slipped into the grave. I was inches from seeing a real dead body. Five inches. It would have been a great laugh in a TV comedy but not in real life.
What is the closest to death you have come?
Being intoxicated out of my brains and hopping from balcony to balcony on the roth floor of a hotel. It was a hobby of mine back in the day. It is probably one of the reasons I am scared of heights. Realizing the next morning you have a terrible hangover, and the comedown of being totally fucked up and thinking. “What did I do?” Being in a rock band, sometimes you need to act irresponsibly, you have to test your limits every now and then and hope you survive.
If you had to have sex with animal what would it be?
A sperm whale. I’ve always been fascinated by sea creatures and it’d be a good session.
First she could go on top, then I could go on top.
A bit of blowhole action too?
Every hole possible. They are lacking in holes. There are so many things you could do with a sperm whale. You could be there all day.
Coprophilia, bestiality of necrophilia?
Coprophilia, of course. I’ve drunk my badmate’s piss already so that’s the next step for us bonding as brothers.
So you’re turning your back on the whale already?
Come on. Why not? Necrophilia feels a bit desperate. You made me choose before. We didn’t talk about shit then, it would be interesting.
It would make for an interesting video.
I would only do it to a cover of ‘We Are The World’.
How Bizarre are you?
Ville Valo
The frontman of Finnish Love Metal band HIM on dropping his granny and sniffing Jimi Hendrix
Words: James Doorne
What's the weirdest animal you’ve ever ridden?
A turtle, which is not that weird.
I disagree. Tell me more.
I got asthma young so I couldn’t have normal pets. I sat on it and tried to ride it. Unfortunately, the doctors said I was also allergic to reptile shit so I couldn’t have any snakes or anything like that. Having no pets was very exhausting spiritually and mentally. The depression and the existential problematics turned me into an alcoholic. When I grew up I was the only child in the family. My dog Sammy taught me to walk. When he died I cursed the gods.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth?
A bandmate’s piss. That was for a bet, not for sexual pleasure. We’re like blood brothers but we are piss brothers. It is almost as close as you can be to a male person without being homosexual. It is very close. It is kind of exciting but not too exciting.
What were you thinking?
I just tasted it.
Why?
For the sake of it. If you are going to share your life with people, share your passions and dreams, then you are going to share your pee too.
I’m going to tell my girlfriend that.
You can try it. Good luck.
Do you have any recurring dreams?
I have vivid dreams of flying. When I was a kid I was convinced I could fly. It’s not like flying over the mountains, it is more like me jumping and staying in the air. I don’t know what it represents. I used to keep a dream diary but it got way too chaotic. My dreams were extreme and didn’t obey the laws of nature or physics and I kept mixing them with real life. I used to have sexually explicit dreams where I was flying and then drown in water. It makes even the strongest guy feel a bit weird.
Have you ever seen a UFO?
No. I’ve smelled a ghost though. We recorded at Electric Lady Land studio in New York where people claim there is Jimi Hendrix’s ghost. One night I came out of the studio, walked through the corridor, there was nobody there, but I could smell a puff of hash/ I’m convinced it was Jimi Hendrix’s ghost. I just sucked it in and hoped for the best. I am so proud of that. Artistically it was one of my most important achievements ever.
I’m no scientist but I reckon I could crack you open and retrieve a small sample of Jimi’s DNA out of you.
We’ll see the wonders it does to my pecker.
Do you believe in aliens?
I would love to. I would love to be abducted and have them stealing my sperm and conducting weird experiments. It would be fantastic. I have never had any of that weird stuff happen to me. Maybe I am just blind.
Do you collect anything weird?
I collect ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ signs form hotels. I’ve got maybe 400 of them. I was thinking of having an exhibition. You can always tell the quality of a hotel by the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ signs. If they have spent money on the design it is a good hotel. They should probably just scan the pictures of the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ signs onto their websites to help us choose the right ones.
What is your idea of hell?
Probably the Christian idea of heaven: sitting on a ******* cloud all day, listening to this old bastard with grey hair. I think the Christian hell will be my heaven. I think after the cold of Finland I’ll be ready for hell. I’ll send you a postcard.
What’s the most violent thing you have done?
I’ve always been kind of a nice guy. I’m never got into fights and that. I am really bad at team sports but for some reason I still wanted to be the David Beckham of my generation.
When I went to my first soccer practice we had a rehearsal match and I was determined to get it in the goal, but someone took the ball off me. So I punched that fucker on the nose and then climbed up a tree and wouldn’t come down until my parents picked me up. It was then I decided team sports weren’t for me. They cause violence in me.
Do you ever hear voices in your head?
Yeah, when I haven’t been sleeping at all. I am super sensitive to staying awake. That is the reason I have never done speed. If I am awake for 24 hours I start hearing these weird, childlike voices in my head.
Do they tell you to do things?
Yeah. They tell me to kill myself and things like that. That is when I drop a Xanax and go to bed. To drive me onto the brink of insanity just spike my drink with speed.
Have you ever seen a dead body?
No, but I have carried one in a coffin. That was my grandmother. I almost saw that body. The Finnish winter is harsh and the graveyard was slippery; we nearly dropped the coffin into the grave. Embarrassing moment. Some of us nearly slipped into the grave. I was inches from seeing a real dead body. Five inches. It would have been a great laugh in a TV comedy but not in real life.
What is the closest to death you have come?
Being intoxicated out of my brains and hopping from balcony to balcony on the roth floor of a hotel. It was a hobby of mine back in the day. It is probably one of the reasons I am scared of heights. Realizing the next morning you have a terrible hangover, and the comedown of being totally fucked up and thinking. “What did I do?” Being in a rock band, sometimes you need to act irresponsibly, you have to test your limits every now and then and hope you survive.
If you had to have sex with animal what would it be?
A sperm whale. I’ve always been fascinated by sea creatures and it’d be a good session.
First she could go on top, then I could go on top.
A bit of blowhole action too?
Every hole possible. They are lacking in holes. There are so many things you could do with a sperm whale. You could be there all day.
Coprophilia, bestiality of necrophilia?
Coprophilia, of course. I’ve drunk my badmate’s piss already so that’s the next step for us bonding as brothers.
So you’re turning your back on the whale already?
Come on. Why not? Necrophilia feels a bit desperate. You made me choose before. We didn’t talk about shit then, it would be interesting.
It would make for an interesting video.
I would only do it to a cover of ‘We Are The World’.
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angel_of_sin
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Ville Valo, HIM
“It’s horrible when you’re giving a microphone a blowjob and it’s giving you negative feedback.”
“I know all men think with their dicks but my ****’s different.”
“I love hearts. They are symbols for life, love and humanity.”
“I’ve never had casual sex, I have always dated the girls I’ve done physical things with. I like knowing the person and them knowing me.”
“I have a big heart and a small brain.”
“Everyone wants to pretend their cock is big and metal is the medium, but ultimately it’s about the songs.”
“I hate talking about my own songs. They’re all about women anyway...”
“They’d double-booked the whole place, so at the same time, Playboy was shooting films there. So we’re in this nunnery where Playboy models were hanging around, and we were talking about porn and recording a rock record — pretty good combination, you know?”
Imam i ja neke intervjue!
“It’s horrible when you’re giving a microphone a blowjob and it’s giving you negative feedback.”
“I know all men think with their dicks but my ****’s different.”
“I love hearts. They are symbols for life, love and humanity.”
“I’ve never had casual sex, I have always dated the girls I’ve done physical things with. I like knowing the person and them knowing me.”
“I have a big heart and a small brain.”
“Everyone wants to pretend their cock is big and metal is the medium, but ultimately it’s about the songs.”
“I hate talking about my own songs. They’re all about women anyway...”
“They’d double-booked the whole place, so at the same time, Playboy was shooting films there. So we’re in this nunnery where Playboy models were hanging around, and we were talking about porn and recording a rock record — pretty good combination, you know?”
Imam i ja neke intervjue!
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