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Iiiiiiii nekoliko funny quotes.......:)

If Jesus sacrificed his life for my sins isn’t it a waste unless I sin a lot?”

“If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.”

“It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.”

“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult:If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”

“The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.”

“I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.”

“You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?”
The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear”
“I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.”
“Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.”

“Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state
that makes people want to flee the Earth?"

“Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.”

“Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.”
“Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.”


“In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.”

“New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.”

“Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.”

“Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.”

“Get there early because hope does not park your mother-******* car.
“Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot.

“Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.”

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

“I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her.”


“You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.”
 
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