Passion Killers
Three Dozen Guaranteed Ways To Kill Passion
1) One partner does all the sexual initiation.
2) All sexual initiation is done nonverbally.
3) Boredom from routine - familiarity - inability to explore.
4) Can only be sexual in the dark with quiet.
5) Distraction or interruption during sex: TV, telephone, kids, etc.
6) Acquiescence rather than responsiveness - (inability to say NO). Being sexual when one would rather not.
7) A wide discrepancy between partners in desired frequency within a sexually exclusive relationship.
8. Not being able to share fantasy material.
9) No sexual conversation outside bed.
10) Anger about nonsexual aspects of the relationship.
11) Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
12) Fear of being sexually out of control ("sexual abandon").
13) Constant focus on orgasm as a goal.
14) Leaving sex for when one is too tired.
15) Not masturbating or not being able to speak about masturbation with partner.
16) Jealousy.
17) Conflicts in sexual or nonsexual value system.
18.Strictly defined gender roles in the relationship.
19) Assumed sexual exclusivity.
20) Belief that sex should be spontaneous.
21) Having many children without sufficient spacing.
22) Intercourse in only one position.
23) Sex as serious business.
24) Aversion to or embarrassment by props or sexual dress.
25) Faking orgasm.
26) Sexual secrets.
27) Religious orthodoxy - sex as a duty.
28.Lack of physical or emotional safety.
29) Physical illness.
30) Sex traded for non-sexual goals.
31) Expectation of a woman having orgasm during intercourse.
32) Not liking oral sex and having a partner who does.
33) An undesired change in the personal hygiene or grooming of one's partner.
34) Weight gain.
35) Power imbalance.
36) Sexual dysfunction - anorgasmia, painful intercourse, rapid ejaculation, erectile problems.