Like Kim and many other forever singles, Alexa admits to being the token singleton among her crowd.
‘But most of the time I don’t care. I go on dates — if a man wants to take me out for the evening, have a bit of fun, go to dinner, that’s fine, but I have no desire to look for The One.
‘I’m 30, I’m confident, and I don’t worry about settling down and having kids. A man would have to understand that he would never be the centre of my world. That’s why I’m happy to be single: I don’t want anyone to cramp my style or routine.’
Something else that seems to inspire so many forever singles is not having to be financially accountable to a man. ‘I have a friend who hides expensive buys from her husband,’ Alexa says. ‘She earns money so it’s crazy. If I want something — like the £350 shoes I bought recently — I go ahead and get it.’
Like Alexa, Kim Williams thinks she inherited her penchant for flying solo from her mother. ‘My parents separated ten years ago and Mum is now a much stronger person. She went to beauty school and works in my salon. She has never pushed me to have grandchildren.’
73%
of women bought their first property on their own
Some women may become forever singles as a result of bruising relationships with selfish men who wanted to keep their partners down. Others seem naturally pre-disposed to the single life, choosing to be alone by design rather than by default.
Holly Smart, 29, a communications and marketing manager from Essex has, with the exception of a two-month relationship, never had a man in her life.
However, that may be rooted not in an inability to find The One, but perhaps in her high standards when it comes to potential partners.
She once dated ten men for a local radio story, going to the same restaurant over ten nights with a different man. Not one of her dates held her interest.
‘I have no desire just to be with someone else so I have a man at my side,’ Holly says. ‘I’ve always been fiercely independent, with a great job and a nice two-bedroom house. I’m not anti-relationships, I just don’t seem to need them in my life.
‘My parents have been together for more than 40 years, but they accept the way I choose to live my life. I’ve just become a volunteer for the Motor Neurone Disease Association, but my career is my priority.
‘I am good at what I do, I work long hours, and I travel widely. It’s not that I don’t find men attractive, but I don’t feel any urgency for them to come into and change my life.’
Holly enjoys the fact that nobody encroaches on her space. She lives alone, and takes great pleasure in decorating her home in a bold and eclectic way — one wall, for example, is decorated entirely with wallpaper samples. She says: ‘As I put the key into my door each evening, it’s lovely not to have to worry about anyone else.
‘Of course there are times when I would like to share things with someone. I went on holiday to Kefalonia with Mum last year and we had a great time — I certainly didn’t sit there wishing I was with a man.’
Holly may want to have a family one day, she says, but only if she meets a man with whom she feels she can take that step. In the meantime, she is relaxed about whether she will ever become a mother.
So can the man-free intentions of these forever singles be sustained in the long-term?
Psychologist Susan Firth offers a word of caution. ‘None of these women should discount the possibility of a relationship.
‘If they’re genuinely happy then great, embrace it, but I would advise them not to behave as if they’re anti-men,’ she says. ‘Ultimately you’ll become abrasive, even defensive, and then you may find that no one will want to be around you. Embrace being a single woman, but keep the light switched on. Who’s to say what might happen in the future?’
As she throws her binoculars and hiking boots into her suitcase, Kim Williams offers a different view.
‘I don’t want to come back after a long day then have to sit down and be supportive to a man about his bad day — because he’ll never want to know about my bad day,’ she says.
