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The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.

Idiocracy
 
Paulie: Amazing thing about snakes is that they reproduce spontaneously.

Tony: What do you mean?

Paulie: They have both male and female sex organs. That’s why somebody you don’t trust you call a snake. How can you trust a guy who can literally go fu*ck themselves?

Tony: Don’t you think that expression would’ve come from the Adam and Eve story? When the snake tempted Eve to bite the apple?

Paulie: Hey, snakes were fu*cking themselves long before Adam and Eve showed up, T.


The Sopranos
 
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?

Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.

Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles
 
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I want you to go out there. You and nobody else. None of your little minions. I want you to go out there and I want you to punish the person who's responsible for murdering this poor little rabbit. Is that understood?
 
- Surprised to see me here?
- I knew you'd come.
- Morton once told me I could never be like him. Now I understand why. Wouldn't have bothered him, knowing you were around somewhere alive.
- So you found out you're not a businessman after all?
- Just a man.
- An ancient race... other Mortons will be along, and they'll kill it off.
- Future don't matter to us. Nothing matters now, not the land, not the money, not the woman. I came here to see you. 'Cause I know that now you'll tell me what you're after.
- Only at the point of dying.
- I know...

 
- Now, what's got you so upset, man?
- If coming face-to-face with the failure that is your career ain't worth crying about, then I don't know what the fu*k is.
- Right. That guy in there turn you down?
- No. He wants to help me get into Italian movies.
- Then what's the problem?
- I gotta do Italian goddamn movies! That's the fu*king problem!

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
 
[as Denny picks up Enzo from the floor and carries him]
Enzo: [voice over] If only I could speak, I would tell him not to worry. I saw a documentary about Mongolia on TV once. In Mongolia, they believe that when a dog has finished living his lifetimes as a dog, his next incarnation will be as a man.
[Denny takes Enzo over to the couch]
Denny Swift: I’m right here, bud. There he is.
Enzo: [voice over] I realize this would mean losing all my memories, my experiences. But I have a plan. I will try to imprint what I know on my soul, carry it so deeply in the pockets of my existence that when I open my eyes, and look down at my new hands, I will already know.
[Denny is petting Enzo lovingly]
Denny Swift: There’s my Enzo.
Enzo: [voice over] I will be ready. I will remember.

The Art Of Racing In The Rain
 
“I knew—but I did know that I had crossed 700 The border. Everything I loved was lost But no aorta could report regret. A sun of rubber was convulsed and set; And blood-black nothingness began to spin A system of cells interlinked within Cells interlinked within cells interlinked Within one stem. And dreadfully distinct Against the dark, a tall white fountain played. I”

― Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire

( Blade Runner 2049 )
 

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