Riverside - tekstovi pesama

NAPOMENA: Moguce je da sam neke pesme preskocio ili da nisam dodao radio edit pesme, s obzirom da je diskografija veca, a neka od live izvodjenja nisam stavljao. Unapred se izvinjavam ako je to slucaj.

[Part I (instrumental)]

[Part II (instrumental)]

[Part III (Again)]

/she/

I stay... I swear... I am... I can...

[2x]
Please take a walk with me
Let me know - Am I to blame?

I stay... I swear... I am... I can...

As you know
I've always...
As you know
I've always loved you and I know I will always, I will always

[2x]
Please take a walk with me
Let me know - Am I to blame?

As you know
I've always...
As you know
I've always loved you and I know I will always, I will always, I will always love

[Part IV (I am)]

I am your fear, I am your hope
I am your grief, I am your joy

I know... I can... Wanna stay...
I know... I can... Wanna stay...

I am your deed, I am your word
I am your hate, I am your love

I know... I can... Wanna stay...
I know... I can... Wanna stay...

/he/

I don't feel quite myself
I think I'm losing heart
I'm sick and tired of all those words
Voices in my head
I think I have become
Another suffering of my soul

You ask me how I'm feeling
Looking in my eyes
Hearing only what you want to hear
I'm holding my breath
Holding my time
I wish you knew how I was hurt

I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
So please stop asking me for more
Let me get this straight
Let me get this right
I need a place to be alone

I need a place to be
I need a breath to take
Don't wanna scream with my mouth shut
It leads us nowhere
Stop looking at me like that
This is not what I had in mind

I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
So please stop asking me for more
Let me get this straight
Let me get this right
I need a place to be alone

Let me get this straight
Let me get this right

Let me go
You've just helped to get me out of myself

I learn to understand
Getting harder to pretend is ok with me

In this moment I believe
And I want it so much
In spite of everything

You make me so real
I don't have to shut myself in this cage of me
I see what I haven't seen
I wanna share my place to hide
My place to feel
With You

In this moment I believe
And I want it so much
In spite of everything

I learn to understand
If only I was worth waiting for...

Raise me up
Don't let me fall
Cause I don't get myself
I feel like I felt before
But can't find my way

All those feelings went away
I may not be what you think I am
Think we ought to find ourselves
Think we ought to find ourselves
Again...

Raise me up
Don't let me fall
Cause it's getting so hard
I feel like I felt before
Maybe I only try?

All those feelings went away
I may not be what you think I am
Think we ought to find ourselves
Think we ought to find ourselves again
All those questions never asked
All those days are coming back to me now
Dreams that can't be realised
All those nights are coming back to me now
And I know there're coming back to you

Raise me up
Raise me up, don't let me fall

Another day of talking
And I'm in two minds
I think I have to tell you
I finally realised
I know you'll never really get inside of me
But I don't mean to hurt you
Just let me disappear

We used to like it
Used to be
In the sunset time of our dream
For all these things we cannot change
We cannot be
We cannot stay

But if you lose your faith
Know that I am still your friend
And if the sky falls down
Know that I will still support you.

I know what I'm really like...
I'm bleeding...
I don't mind...

That was very foolish of me
I can do nothing now

Light shines in the darkness
I don't wanna go
Wish I could turn back time
Oh my Guardian Angel
Take me away from here
I think I'm ready now
But still can't make up my mind

Memories of yesterday
Hopes left behind
I have to fade away now
There's no other way out

The curtain falls...

Need to stay right here
I don't care if there is a better place
I must try it myself
Again
My broken sleep will never be the same
I'm only hanging on
And waiting for another night

There's sadness in my mind - ok
There's darkness in my mind - ok

What has come over me?
Can't believe, but your tears leave me cold
I'm walking through the dark
Again
And I am not afraid to be alone
Anymore

There's sadness in my mind - ok
There's darkness in my mind - ok
Thoughts echoing in my mind - ok
Everything is gonna be...

I can't take anymore
I can't breathe
I'm sick of this goddamn darkness,
Sick of sadness and tears I throw it all up every single day
Together with last night's dinner
I have lost myself completely
I have convinced myself I am someone else
For God's sake,
I need to be real
I need touch
I need... people?
I have to turn my life around...
But... I will still be myself, won't I...?

I have spent all my previous life
Waiting for something else to start
Now I see that I have felt so numb
To everything that passed me by
Need to go land on my own two feet
Need to change my life this way
Need to free my mind of memories
Watch them how they screw my brain
The time that has come
Convinced what I feel inside
In darkness I float
How far is the light?
Inside - fearland
Don't want you to know
Outside - fearless
I do want you to watch
Do you mind?
Would you step aside
Make way for me
Can't you see I'm dead set on doing this
Enough of dreamless nights
Enough of sleepless nights
I'm the way I am
Get out of my sight
DO YOU MIND?
You can put me in the lion's cage
You can take my soul
Give a second name
But I don't intend to stop my fight
And I'm not afraid
NOT AFRAID

I've been watching you
Not waiting for the right moment to make the first move
Do you want to know
Why I keep avoiding your eyes
And why I'm running away?
It's crazy, I know
I've been conceiving you for too long
Or maybe I'm destined to be alone?
Or maybe there's someone who will understand
That I'm not able to share my world?
I'm still running away
It's crazy, I know
I've been conceiving you for too long
If only I could change all things around
Still conceiving you all along...
I've been conceiving you for too long
If only I could change all things around
I've been conceiving you for too long
I've grown used to that
Still conceiving you all along...

[Part One - From Hand To Mouth]

From day to day
From hand to mouth
We're turning around
Vicious ritual
Getting used to it all
Falling down again
We're waiting for
The decrees of providence
I don't want to waste
Any more of my life
Live from day to day
Live from hand to mouth
Facing the light
I brush aside your plans
I'm going to have
It all my own way
And when that all shattered I felt I'd broken my fall
Couldn't pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
Without your help I finally started to live my own life
I just want you to know this time

[Part Two - Secret Exhibition]

I just want to feel your sigh on my neck
Want to feel your breath
Feel your need to stay
You don't know my name
Don't know my face
Only thoughts I share in my secret place
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
I've ground to a halt
There's no turning back
You know there are things I just can't forget
You've helped me so much
To learn to be detached
But when that all shattered I felt I'd broken my fall
Couldn't pretend that I felt strong about us anymore
Without that help I finally started to live my own life
And I know I don't need you now
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
Life is much too short to be whiled away with tears
Secret exhibition
Cure for loneliness
I erase you now
I don't need you now
I erase you now with all of my past

[Part Three - Vicious Ritual]

[Instrumental]

Hi my friend
Shake my hand
Tell your lie
With your artificial smile
Don't be mad
I just want to help you
To say these words out loud
I don't like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I'm so happy when they f you
Strike a blow
For my fall
Crush me down
And just say these words out loud
I don't like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I'm so happy when they f you
And this is what we do
And this is who we are
Why don't you want to stop
You always see my life up against your life
I don't like you cause they like you
I hate you cause they love you
I wish you ill cause they wish you well
I'm so happy when they f you
Tell me your lie!!!

I turned you down so hastily
And it's tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I'm screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
And it's cold
So cold
I turned you down
Oh, I turned you down so thoughtlessly
And it's tearing me apart
In my heart of hearts I'm screaming
In my heart of hearts I cry
How I wish you told me that
I wish you'd told me that before
I wish you'd told me that before
I wish you'd told me that before
I turned you down

Pull myself together - holding on
Standing at the point of no return
Keeping on the right side of my heart
And the moment of truth is falling on me now
I don't care if what I want
Is written in my eyes
You can think of me what you feel
I don't really mind
How about laughing at my habits
At my needs
I'm afraid I'll stay unmoved
Know I have to be
Before you come and tell me who I am
Before you try to make me someone else
Step out of your line, out of line
Step out of your line
I don't care if what I want
Is written in my eyes
You can think of me what you feel
I don't really mind
How about spitting venom in my face again
I'm afraid I'll stay unmoved
You just waste your breath
Before you come and tell me who I am
Before you try to make me someone else
Step out of your line
Step out of line
Shall we dance my friend?
Join in the shadow dance
Join in the shadow dance
Join in the shadow dance
Join in the shadow dance
I'm standing on the edge, about to fall
In the middle of the point of no return
Trying to forget those days I failed to act
I'm not going to back out
I've come too far
I can almost see the light
Feel its warmth
And touch the moment I was waiting for so long
I carried all before me
Now the die is cast
With open arms I'm standing out against my past

I've become resistant to myself
To my weaknesses and pain
I've become the one who wants to live
And just feel alive again
I've changed myself
I've become addicted to being strong
Started out my second life
And the remnants of your tears and smiles
Shift deleted from my mind
Without knowing how it hurts...
I feel safe
Without knowing how it hurts...
I feel safe
Is this
What I
Really
Wanted?

There's a place where I feel you
And I know you mean more to me
Still waiting
Still holding time

There's a place where I feel you
And I know I mean more to you
Still waiting
Still holding time

This is harder then I thought it would be
Being there in my prozac dreams
Saw your beauty and I kept in mind
Imagine your smell and touch
Imagine all of us

I'm sure we want to find our place
We're alone inside - that'll never change

GD & R time (Grinnin', Duckin' & Runnin' time)
FITB (Fill In The Blanks)
FWIW (For What It's Worth)
FUBAR (Fouled Up Beyond All Repair)
ICOCBW (I Could Of Course Be Wrong)
ICOCBB (I Could Of Course Be Blind)

I'm sure we want to find our place
We're alone inside - that'll never change

This is harder then I thought it would be
I'm still here in my prozac dreams
Seeing your beauty
Keeping all in mind
No chance to survive
My Love
Goodbye

Follow my name
Follow my sin
Wearing my mask
Cover my fear
All of my blame
All in my place
Wearing my mask
Cover my shame

We're so far from understand
We're so far from "we can take"

Sky above my head
Open mind
And I try to think
Think of all these words
Should have said
Didn't want to escape
From this dream
Where I want to be

And the thing that I feel
You'll never know
I am really afraid of telling the truth
And the thing that I feel
You'll never know
I am really afraid of losing you

Wish you knew how much
I've been wanting to talk to you
Still carry me
Nothing's changed
Sky above my head
For the first time
Since I lost your smile

And the thing that I feel
You'll never know
I am really afraid of telling the truth
And the thing that I feel
You'll never know
I am really afraid of losing you
Still carry me...

I'm stuck between myself and me
Pretty sure at this time
The more I see the less I feel
But I don't want it to stop

Read my fortune
Now I can
Know you forever will be there
I'm arising
I will stay for you
And I know I will
CARE

Please tell me why I still recall
Know it has to be good
It wouldn't be so hard if I
Were not so frightened for you

Read my fortune
Now I can
Know you forever will be there
I'm arising
I will stay for you
And I know I will
CARE

I learn to understand
Getting harder to pretend is ok with me

In this moment I believe
And I want it so much
In spite of everything

You make me so real
I don't have to shut myself in this cage of me
I see what I haven't seen
I wanna share my place to hide
My place to feel
With You

In this moment I believe
And I want it so much
In spite of everything

I learn to understand
If only I was worth waiting for...

Raise me up
Don't let me fall
Cause I don't get myself
I feel like I felt before
But can't find my way

All those feelings went away
I may not be what you think I am
Think we ought to find ourselves
Think we ought to find ourselves
Again...

Raise me up
Don't let me fall
Cause it's getting so hard
I feel like I felt before
Maybe I only try?

All those feelings went away
I may not be what you think I am
Think we ought to find ourselves
Think we ought to find ourselves again
All those questions never asked
All those days are coming back to me now
Dreams that can't be realised
All those nights are coming back to me now
And I know there're coming back to you

Raise me up
Raise me up, don't let me fall

I don't feel quite myself
I think I'm losing heart
I'm sick and tired of all those words
Voices in my head
I think I have become
Another suffering of my soul

You ask me how I'm feeling
Looking in my eyes
Hearing only what you want to hear
I'm holding my breath
Holding my time
I wish you knew how I was hurt

I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
So please stop asking me for more
Let me get this straight
Let me get this right
I need a place to be alone

I need a place to be
I need a breath to take
Don't wanna scream with my mouth shut
It leads us nowhere
Stop looking at me like that
This is not what I had in mind

I'm really scared of getting lost in real life
So please stop asking me for more
Let me get this straight
Let me get this right
I need a place to be alone

Let me get this straight
Let me get this right

Let me go
You've just helped to get me out of myself

We are none of us...

If I still believed in me
I would lie
If I had another chance I would try
If I lost my dreams I would blame myself again
If I were myself I would be someone else

If I did't want to feel
I would stay
If I were myself I would be someone else

Cause I can
See the truth in the photograph
And with all that's mine
I need to look back inside

And this day
New life raced through my mind
So with all that's mine
I need to look back inside

Medication Time
My favorite part
Hello Rainbow Box
Need you to survive

White is for my health
Blue for happiness
Thanks to Red I die and live
With a shade of smile on my face

Alpha waves appeared
I've crossed a line
Sea of memories
Feel I'm going down

Achromatic day
Got choked by colored pills
I thought that I could
But the icy water closed over me

You know
Want to feel alive
Need you more
Anytime

You know
Want to feel alive
Need you more
Anytime

Used to be my Panic Room
The other side of me
Where I slept and woke by turns
And nothing seemed real

I was feeding on your life
Peering through the hole
And it scared me out
Someday
You would knock on my door

Sweet shelter of mine
I'm freezing without
Sweet shelter of mine
I'm dying without

Cover up my twisted thoughts
Shattered all around
Muffled sounds
Recurring dreams
Melatonin smile

Used to be my 302
The other side of light
Trap of my own
That helped me deal
With what I lost inside

Sweet shelter of mine
I'm freezing without
Sweet shelter of mine
I'm dying without
Sweet shelter of mine

***

I've tried to make self-portraits before
But they always turn out so contrived
I've spent too much time
Correcting light and shade
Hiding wrinkles
Blurring scars

I've tried to make self-portraits before
Through my eyes
Just see myself
Now I know
I'm not in denial
That I need someone else
To see me

So afraid of rejection
Hide inside ourselves
Acting like strangers to avoid the pain

We collect our phobias
Our sicknesses
Feel so good only when we can complain

In your arms
Feels like a better us
In your arms

Dancing around the fire
Getting drunk with the night
Nobody is ever who they seem to be

Hypnos give us your hand
We so tire of this life
Need to rest and finally disappear

In your arms
Feels like a better us
In your arms

Lying here on the floor
Starting to come around
What you did Mr. Hyde
What you got me into this time

There's blood on my hands
Emptiness in my mind
I don't remember my name
Don't recall who I am

What's wrong with me now
I'm shying from the light
I start to realize
Feel I'm falling down
Every inch of my skin
Feel the pain I saw
The self, I was running away from, just back!

Lost the light of day
Lost my picture of you
This nightmare I was afraid of
Just becoming the truth

Oh no
What have I done
Can't just put it all behind me
Can't afford to lose my mind

Oh no
What have I done
You don't know how much I need to
Find a way to bring you back

Lying here on the floor
Starting to come around
What you did Mr. Hyde
What you got me into this time

Drugged from sleep
In front of the mirror
Shrugging off the darkest fear
Keep asking myself the same question
When did I turn to this side of me
When did I turn to this side

I need to find a way
To bring you back again

So welcome to the no man's land
Where you can finally face yourself
Fear of feeling something real
Is your friend now
There's no need to run

So welcome to the no man's land
Where nothing is as it seems
Mysteries hidden from six feet under
And six feet above

And to feel your heart this way
Before it gets too late

The moon began to split in half
And the darkness could be touched
Blindfolded
You're trying to find a way
To the bottom of your soul

Well I can see all your scars
That you wish you could hide
And I won't let you remember
What it was like
When you were here before

And to hear your voice again
And to feel your touch this way
Before it gets too late

In a mood like this
Don't want to pull away from you
Don't want to hurt you
Shut you out
Or push you away

In the mood like this
I want some place that is just mine
And nobody else's
Just mine

Complete indifference
TV life instead of talk
We're drifting apart
Lip reading
And so distant now

I miss what we had
I miss someplace that was just mine
And nobody else's
Just mine
Place for me to hide
Inside of me

For you
I will be
For you
I will escape again
Want to see in your eyes
That you want us back
That there's hope for us

Last time I made you up
You looked so bright
I was about to believe in angels

Searching my lucid dream
Came up against
Pictures of your imagination

Feel the pain
Feel the pain

I am looking for you now
Somewhere far off in my mind
I wish you told me everything
There is no way I can get around that
But if this is only a dream

Does it follow
One day must we wake up?
But if this is only a dream
Soon I'm cold

I feel no pain
I feel no pain

But if this is only a dream
Does it follow
One day must we wake up?
But if this is only a dream
I can just
Soon I'm cold

[Guitar Solo]

Soon I'm cold
Last time I made you up
You looked so bright
I was about to believe in angels

Even if I had my life to live (over again)
Even if I had my life to live (over again)
I would keep coming back to the same place
Waiting on the shore for me to return [x2]

I'm nourished by
Your day's residues
Seeing through the veil
Unclose your mind

I'm the reflection of
All your waking lives
Narcoleptic sins
Unclose your mind

In the depth of my
Can control your life
With your shell around
Unclose your mind

I'm your amber light
Way of passing time
Movement of your eye
(Incoherent chant)

I'm your better life
Hidden desire
Never Neverland
Unclose your mind

We could be so good
Broken looking-glass
So much left unsaid

Fearless on top
Fearland at heart [x7]

[Incoherent chant]

And now you will be my soul mate
I am going to make you up again
It's OK now but I don't know how long it needs to last
Sooner or later I want you to come and get me out of here
Sooner or later I want you to come and get me
Sooner or later I will need you
Sooner or later

Closed inside
I have my life back
Trapped inside
I give my life back [x2]

[Incoherent chant]

It's just another day of my life
In the high res next gen wonderland
I curse the sun
Getting out of bed
I hope my sell-by date
Didn't expire yesterday

The torture porn on the red roy disc
A sweet kiss of liquid modernity
We have no time for your mistakes
Dial
Search
Accept

"Here, you have to run as fast as you can to stay in the same place."

You're too blurry my friend
You're too slow
You're too predictable
Too below
This is all I can hear in my mind
When I try to believe
I'll stand the pace of this run

Breathe in
Breathe out

It's just another day of my life
Dial
Search
Accept

I don't know where to begin
Feel a cleaving in my mind
I can't get my act together
Buzz in my head is too loud
I know something's wrong with me
It's starting to burn out my soul
But I feel so weird in here
When you just sit, listen and nod

All my life
I've been trying to deny and deceive myself

Sense of Insecurity
Restlessness
The turning out
Hatred for my inner chaos
And the color of your couch
I've just had this trouble all my life
Of getting out what is inside

Now I run
But cannot hide

No matter how much I do for them
No matter how much I do for myself
No matter which way I look at it
Fulfillment passes me by

Distracted inner self
On the brink of chaos
Lost its way

Impatient inner self
On the brink of chaos
Lost its way

Distracted inner self
I'm tuning out

Impatient inner self
I'm spacing out

Distracted inner self
On the brink of chaos
Lost its way

[I. Different?]

Once in the middle of the crowd
I stopped
Suddenly I felt so good
Not being on the move
But became an obstruction
In your way
And I was surprised
How fast you could unite
Against me

When you forced me to the ground
And tied my hands
Certain I couldn't disturb
Anymore

I saw the sadness in your eyes
Your fear
And the most secret desire:
"Escape from here"...

In pursuit of uniqueness
And individuality
We must be unlike anyone else
To survive
But in the mass of different runners
Different lies
We can't make time to realize
How the same we are

[II. Hedonist Party]

So let me live without your pain
Just let me live without your pain
Because I want to feel so...

It's not right
It's not fair
When I am forced to live your life

It's not right
It's not fair
When I am forced to live your life

It's not right

Just let me live without your pain
Just let me live without your pain
Just let me live without your pain
Just let me live without your pain
Just let me live without

[III. Straw Man Dance]

Congrats
This time you're a borderline pass
Here's your reward
Now smile
After all
You conform to us
Drag on
Forget yourself in the final dance
You already know the steps

Huddled in the corner
Disillusioned
My lifeless stare is fixed
On your silhouettes
You're disregarding me
Passing me by
Like I'm not even here
Maybe I'm not
Maybe I'm somewhere else

I used to be one of you
With the same spark in my eyes
And now I don't belong to this place
It's a matter of merciless time
I wholly vanish

The candle guttered out
The beauty elapsed
Could've been so wonderful

***

One day we could've met
And believed
We might live that way
Far away from the din
Envious looks
And chase for the prize
We would have remained ourselves
Without killing our feelings
Slowly
Day by day

One day we could've won
Without taking away
Someone else's pride
We would have become strong
Walking through our life side by side

We could've missed another day
Not knowing how to talk
Where to go
We could've missed another night
Only... For what?

The dream went away
And you came
With your dark hair loose
Ruthless cold reality
Oh, how I hate your truth
Don't turn your back this time
Just look at my eyes
I won't break down
I'm going to fight

Come to me now
I will host you
I'm the alchemist of our times
I know exactly what you need
You've climbed so high
You've gone so far
So you deserve something special

Come to me now
I will cure your soul
I'm the savior of our times
I know exactly what it needs
You've let yourself go
You've felt so down
So my hi-tech salvation is just for you

Obsession [x3]

To be the best
The most beautiful
And above everyone
Not allow oneself to be left behind
Know what is what and what is out
Aim for excellence
And perfection you can only dream about

Before my fame evaporates
I must be at the top
So I control my body
Mental state
Unable to slow down

Before the final dusk appears
I must do more than this
It's the only way to make it through
In these hyperactive times
It's my obsession!
Obsession... [x3]

Doggedly
At any cost
Obstinately
More and more
Can't allow myself to stop
The ice broke
I'll never give up
Again... [x3]

***

Hi, it has been a while since last time
I was certain I could live without
All those private talks I couldn't stand
But now the truth is
You're the best friend I have...

I'm covered in dust
Lying next to you
Waiting for my judgement day
Feel the warmth of the hearth
Your kiss of destiny
Cure for pain and misery

When something ends
Something else begins
We are moving on

Life happened to us
We are not the same
But we've managed to survive
Stuck at the crossroads of time
Between future and past
Diverse worlds under the same sky

And when something ends
Something else begins
So let me silently fade away
Forget us in the flame

I know it hurts
The sky has fallen down
I know it hurts
Flowers have died back
I know it hurts
But look at the sun
It's about to rise again

Cause when something ends
Something else begins
So let me silently fade away
Forget us in the flame

I need a place where I can belong
This alternate world is not my home
I suffocate here

The hollow laughs of the hollow men
Embarrassing Carnival Parade
Can't stand more lights!

I don't care if those times are over
I'm not going to live like everyone
I don't care if those times are over
My future is living in the past

I feel like the touchstone
In a river of wounded hearts
What happened to our days
They used to be so full of life
In a different way

Used to be so easy
Used to be so good between us
Words had a different meaning
The simple things were significant

I don't care if those times are over
I'm not going to live like everyone
I don't care if those times are over
My future is living in the past

Even clowns don't scare me anymore

Look at this field my son
Deserted, empty place
Where the dead silence feeds on lost whispers
There was a Kingdom here
A City full of life
Songs of its praise were being sung by the mountains
Oh, listen to them now

People felt strong and powerful
Proud of their wealth
All of them believed they were kings of the whole world
They started to take more
And crossed the borderlines
Called themselves gods above everything and everyone
Oh, listen to them now

Faster and faster
Higher and higher
Great temples of gold grew taller and glittered in the sun
Gods, too sure of themselves
Never lost their pride
Even when the altars and monuments started to collapse

Oh, how quickly they died
Oh, how quickly they turned into
The dust of the forgotten land

Listen intently
Souls are crying
This is the song of the forgotten land

Into this world
I came
Filled with fear
Crying all the time
I guess my birth
Left a great scar
On my heart and mind

Now I hand-pick cotton
And struggle to sing
"I am happy and I do what I like"
But my voice breaks
And I start to hate
My singing
And simply everyone

Mama told me
Be good
Work hard
And love Mr. God
Every Sunday
I lie
Trying to realize why

Ain't nothing more to say
Your Honor
Don't look at me like that
The truth is
I am a free man
But I can't enjoy my life

***

I came to a standstill
With lies and hopes inside my head
Always seemed too late to turn
And too soon to understand

No, I don’t have a stomach ache
It's just my face...

I got stuck
I ran aground
I got used to spewing bile
I wonder whether all those years
Hadn't been a waste of time

So how am I doing?
Oh, I CAN complain
Smoke too many cigarettes
But I don't care...

I could be foreign forever
To your otherland
I could be foreign forevermore
To your promiseland
One life was great
But another…
No, I don’t want to live on the edge
I won’t follow you
I found my own
I will stay

I could be foreign forever
To your hastenland
I could be foreign forevermore
To your neverland
One little brick then another
And I will build that wall anyway
You can find me there
Rested and calm
Without mask
This is where I will stay

Look around where we are
Who we are
What we always want
Twenty four
Seven
Three sixty five
Sometimes little more
I was chasing your shadow
Not knowing
I’d become your slave

I could be foreign forever
To your otherland
I could be foreign forevermore
To your promiseland
One life was great
But another…
No, I don’t want to live on the edge
I won’t follow you
I found my own
I will stay
I could stay forevermore

I've said a farewell
To never-ending smiles
I did not look good in red
From my place I can finally see
How much of this shade I called myself
Was me
And what was left behind

I can’t afford to be silent
I can’t afford to lose my stand
What matters is to be in view
I am seen therefore I am
I can satisfy my hunger
I can satisfy my thirst
What about the feeling of importance
Now I’ve got my chance

This is just what I need
To be in everyone’s eyes
To be hard-wired to all brains
And control all their minds

In the center of attention
TV
Glossy magazines
My private life is public
I sell everything
Days are getting shorter
They’ll forget about me soon
So I jump on the bandwagon
With no taboos

This is just what I need
To be in everyone’s eyes
To be hard-wired to all brains
And control all their minds

But what if we start to talk
Not only say out loud
What if we sift the babble
From what really counts
What if we disappear
Go deeply underground
What if we hide away
From being stupefied

You and I
Thousand eyes

When I scroll back through our recent days
I try to understand
How we could forget
We made a promise to one another
That nothing would ever break what we had
Now we never talk when we fall apart
We never talk when we fall apart
We pretend we’re ok
Surrounding ourselves with one-way friendships
And so-called friends

I know we got used to new us
And I don’t want to be there
I don’t want to be there
Where we are
I know we got used to new life
And I don’t want to be there
No, I don’t want to be there
Where we are

Silence fallen between
All the doors are locked
All the words unsaid
And we’re still afraid of time
Started to keep ourselves
At a distance that we could control
Not too close
Not too far
Now we never talk when we fall apart
We just never talk when we fall apart
We pretend we’re ok
By filling up our inner space
With little hates
And so-called love

I know we got used to new us
And I don’t want to be there
I don’t want to be there
Where we are
I know we got used to new life
And I don’t want to be there
No, I don’t want to be there
Where we are

So walk away with me

Day outside grows black
I lie faceup in my shell
Squeeze my eyes shut
And feel like falling into blank space

Had allowed that life to drift
For I’ve chosen a different trail
When light fades
I feel like falling into blank space

So you realized
Ingested real life
Grew up in the time of
Pushing through the crowds
So you realized
Chose unreal life
Settled in the mobile
Handy pocket size

Wanted to be your light
Illuminate your smiles
Wanted to be your cure
Bridge between self and us
Wanted to be your prayer
Wipe the tears from your eyes
But I turned my back

Could have been a tree of dawn
Rooted deeply in the ground
Bearing fruits
Far away from falling into blank space

But I took refuge from myself
In the crowded solitude
Now I dash
And feel like falling into blank space

Wanted to be your light
Illuminate your smiles
Wanted to be your cure
Bridge between self and us
Wanted to be your prayer
Wipe the tears from your eyes
But I turned my back
Got lost inside

I live surrounded by cherished memories
I have a weakness for collecting them
Alphabetize
As far as I recall my childish rituals
Icons of that world
Always filled my shelves and heart

Now I shelter from the rain
Hole up in my cage
You don’t have to think too much today
They filled in for your brain

Curled up
Deprived
Curled up
Deprived
I shut away

In a world of synonyms
And handwritten notes
My own puppet performances
Endless bedtime stories
I could touch the moon
And switch off the sun
I could have my dreams
And dream about better times

Now I shelter from the rain
Hole up in my cage
You don’t have to think too much today
They filled in for your brain

Curled up
Deprived
Curled up
Deprived
I shut away
Please don’t call my name

We are escalator walkers
In the brand new temple
Came to reshape identities
Shed our skins
Be reborn
And feel the same
That no one here is real

We are moving standees
In the shrine of choices
Incarcerated between floors of
Hope and disappointment
We feel the same
That no one here is real
We feel the same
That nothing here is still

We are stairway drifters
Made of cyber paper
Google boys and wiki girls
Children of the self care

We come to pray every single training day
Looking for a chance to survive
Buying reduced price illusions
Floating into another light
Melting into another lonely crowd

We feel the same
That no one here is real
We feel the same
That nothing here is still

***

Used to have our love
And now
Disposable needs
Used to have our souls
And now
Refined new skins

Take
Use
Throw Away
Forget

***

Dragging our feet
Tired and deceived
Slowly moving on
Bracing shaky legs
Against all those wasted years
We roll the boulders of sins
Up a hill of new days

In the arms of the setting sun
Our burdens cast shadows over fiery ground
Catching final rays
We try to reach the journey’s end
Before the sun will die

We sense we’re almost there
But the night comes too soon
And we crawl in the dark
Not ready to face up
To unknowing lies
We ache to go back

But we can’t stop
So we walk ahead

Night outside grows white
I lie faceup in my shell
Open my eyes
Don’t feel like falling into blank space

Had allowed that life to drift
For I’ve chosen a different trail
When darkness fades
Don’t feel like falling into blank space

Want to be your light
Illuminate your smiles
Want to be your cure
Bridge between self and us
Want to be your prayer
Wipe the tears from your eyes
When the night returns

I won't collapse

I'm set to rise

I dropped down again
From a star
On a desert island
Full of skies

And I saw a boy
Looking up
Dreaming of his future
From my past

Soon I drew an ocean
Tamed the sun
And I plunged my feet
Into the sand

Bit by bit I came
To understand
How I miss this freedom
And the swoosh of waves

Come
Follow me
We’ll go down where the river flows
One day
Just you and I
We’ll find the bridge to the neverland

I was frightened of
A thousand hats
Bouncing off the answers
Losing pride

Had a fear of failure
And true love
But I don’t regret that
I am what I lost

Come
Follow me
We’ll go down where the river flows
One day
Just you and I
We’ll find the bridge to the neverland

Hey you,
Somewhere in the mirror
What happened today with your face
Your eyes
Sank in their hollows
And the ocean of your disgrace

It’s no shame
You haven’t done what you were supposed to
And did what you didn’t want to
1-UP!
The amount of self-deception
Slowly starts killing you
Inside

You’re faced
With a new decision
Between the dawn and the day
Melting
Between the life you got used to
And something you don’t understand

I know
It demands an effort
And the pills to get rid of this pain
Not a chance
I’m sorry, Birdy
I’m your favourite voice inside your head

Hey you,
Rise and shine!
You must learn to stand your ground
How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?
You kept yourself to yourself
Day by day
Growing delusions in the blue flowerpots

Your filter bubble
On the touchscreen display
Has recommended to you
What you should want

While you’ve been watching too much daytime TV
Dreaming on demand
Your ”from tomorrow” just became ”yesterday”
Made you crawl again
Under the bed covers

Hey you,
Rise and shine!
You must learn to stand your ground
How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?
How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?
How long can you hold your breath under the pillow?

I feel I have to share
What I do
Or where I am
There’s an urge within
I can’t ignore

Hashtag me and go
I’m addicted to your love
I’m addicted to my aimless drive

There’s a mask upon my face
I can’t live without
So you won’t recognize me
When I am in the crowd
I lost my calmness in the world
Where everything is searchable

Dreaming inside out
Feeling inside out

I don’t have my place
I’m in here and everywhere
Just another day in hd frame

So hashtag me and go
Cause I’m addicted to your love
I’m afraid
You’re the only friend I’ve got

There’s a mask upon my face
I can’t live without
So you won’t recognize me
When I am in the crowd
I lost my calmness in the world
Where everything is searchable

Dreaming inside out
Feeling inside out
Dreaming inside out
Feeling inside out

Hashtag me and go
Cause I’m addicted to your love

I lost my calmness in the world
Where everything is searchable

Dreaming inside out
Feeling inside out
Dreaming inside out
Feeling inside out

I want to fly
I want to feel my life
Still belongs to me
No matter what
I want to fly
I want to flap my wings
And cause a hurricane in your heart

Butterflies
Better lies than hate
But I can’t pretend anymore
I’m tired of suppressing all of my needs
I want to belong to the cloudless sky
Not to the shaded ground

But it’s so hard to admit
That I lived without your light
Trying not to believe that I need it more
Now the bleeding won’t stop
For I struggled through the barbed wire
Trying not to believe that I need your love
Trying not to believe in love

I wanted to turn into a butterfly
But I couldn’t trust you enough

I was tired of suppressing all of my needs I wanted to belong to the cloudless sky
Not to the shaded ground

But it’s so hard to admit
That I lived without your light
Trying not to believe that I need it more
Now the bleeding won’t stop
For I struggled through the barbed wire
Trying not to believe that I need your love
Trying not to believe in love

But it got me now

iCrowd patterns
Beliefs
Guided trips
Search for hints
Copy/paste
Brain turned off

In my invisible ”oh” life
I don’t want to feel
Like I’m no one anymore

Lack of self confidence
Trapped inside sweet wrappers cage
Sky is blue - so I’ve been told

In my invisible ”oh” life
I don’t want to feel
Like I’m no one anymore

Dream on, my pain
My scar
My blame
You’ve been a part of me
Unless and until

Dreamt by the night
Under your skin
I run through the wind
Unless and until

Dream on, my pain
My scar
My thorn
You’ve been a part of me
Let me stay afloat

once
in the darkness
of bad memories
you stepped into a trap
but the spring-loaded bar
Didn’t break your neck
and you remained there
waiting for the better time

Life
With your passivity
in the face of choices
forced you to turn back
settle with your lies
but the stubborn glass
Doesn’t want to talk to you
Waiting for the better time
chair bound and bedridden heart

discard your fear of the unknown
be here and now
Just find yourself in peace
try to free your mind
wake up
get unstuck
let it go
send your shame to nevermore

your past
your distorted thoughts
closed you in the box
and cluttered up your head
hewn from happiness
in your fable town
you're still afraid of
Starting something new this life

discard your fear of the unknown
be here and now
Just find yourself in peace
try to free your mind
wake up
get unstuck
let it go
Send your shame to nevermore

discard your fear of the unknown
be here and now
just find yourself in peace
try to free your mind
Wake up
Get unstuck
let it go
send your shame to nevermore
let it go
Scare away your fear

No more
Fear of new life
Fear of days of the unknown
Fear of new life
Fear of days of the unknown
Fear of new life
Fear of days of the unknown
fear of new life

no more fear of love

Let me tell you a story
About you and me in those days
How much passion and joy
We shared
How often we turned back time

Let me tell you a story
About you and me in those days
When we felt as if we
could change
The whole world with just one wave

As we ran through the silence
At the speed of sound
Towards the blue horizon
We could open minds

Let me tell you a story
About you and me in those days
We just lived our lives
Swam out
To the middle of the lake

As we ran through the silence
At the speed of sound
Towards the blue horizon
We could open skies

***

Where are you now my friend?
I miss those days
I hope they take good care
Of you there
And you can still play the guitar
And sing your songs

I just miss those days
And miss you so
Wish I could be strong
When darkness comes

One day we'll find our way
Straying from the road
We thought we could go
Until we would fade.

Traveling across the fallen earth
And the foreign lands
We survived
To believe that this is not the end
This is not the time

Moving unseen beyond
The shadows
Waiting for
The birth of a star we can follow

One day we'll find our time
Come to realize
That our history
Came full circle

Traveling across all the dried up seas
And the foreign lands
We survived
To believe that this is not the end
This is not the time

We crane our necks for youth
We know we’ll make it through
And we can go back to the forest

Let’s go back to the world
That was 30 years ago
And let’s believe this is our time

Cut off from the dream
Where the sky meets water
Beneath forgotten stars
Feeling like a child
I embrace what I came for
And what I’ve overcome

Oooh, it’s a lovely life
You have gone so far
Don’t give it up
Oooh, it’s a lovely life
You gotta go with
What you think is right

Delve into myself
With my truth and devotion
I start another flow
Gliding up and down
In my yearning for daylight
I find you in my soul

Oooh, it’s a lovely life
Sun emerges from behind the clouds
Oooh, it’s a lovely life
You gotta go with
What you think is right

Cut off from the dream
Where the sky meets water
Beneath forgotten stars
I feel like a child
Found in waking life

What if it's not?
If it's not meant to be?
What if someone
Has made a mistake?
What we've become
There's no turning back
Maybe it's time
To say that out loud

Question marks are falling down
Crushing underneath our memories
As we stand and look around
The world that remained
On the walls we paint our dreams
Hiding in the fallout shelters
While the Gardens of Eden
Are burning above

What if it's not?
If it's not meant to be?
What if someone
Has made a mistake?
What we've become
There's no turning back
Maybe it's time
To say that out loud

[Part I - Where Are We Now?]
I'm your lie
I am your pretending
I'm the cause
Of your shame and anger
I'm your crime
Swept under the carpet
Your vanity
With all consequences

Living a distorted day
Distorted life
In an uncertain place without the sun
Where are we now?
Living in a fallen land
With fallen minds
In an uncertain place without the sun
Where are we now?
What have we done?

I'm your sloth
I am your aversion
Intolerance
I'm your private wasteland

Living a distorted day
Distorted life
In an uncertain place without the sun
Where are we now?
Living in a fallen land
With fallen minds
In an uncertain place without the sun
Where are we now?

Living a distorted day
Distorted life
In an uncertain place without the sun

Where are we now?
What have we done?
Where are we now?
Who have we become?

[Part II - Dancing Ghosts]
We've been waiting for brighter days
How could we've known we were happy?

Dancing ghosts
Singing ghosts

Where are we now?

Dancing ghosts
Singing ghosts

Shake me down
I’ll make a noise
Tap my hand
I’ll make you smile
Give me hope
Then take away

Like you did the last time
Like the last time
Like the last time

Tell me who I have to be
Cross my head, lips and heart
Make me get down on my knees

Like you did the last time
Like the last time
Like the last time

Wading through the desert
I am wading through the desert
To the promised land
You burned to the ground

Take me to the highest hill
Show the fireworks display
Tell me it’s for my own good

Like you did the last time
Like the last time
Like the last time

Turn poetry into prose
Then launch a crusade
Make another vale of tears

Like you did the last time
Like the last time
Like the last time

Wading through the desert
I am wading through the desert
To the promised land
You burned to the ground

Listen now
The wind is dying down
I can no longer hear
Their wailing
And their cries

The shooting stopped a while ago
Not sure who has survived
They used to be friends
And now they simply wiped each other out

The others took their place
Got a second chance
To get through the night

Tell me now
What is right
What is wrong
Where’s the line between fear
And total callousness?

My heart’s beating too fast
I’m trying to catch
Echoes of morality
Maybe there’s a chance to expiate my sins
Turn around
And start again

There’s nowhere to escape
But I have the key
I know the road

So I will take you there
Look after you
And save us both

Where have you wandered,
My only child
Why are you not coming back?
Your mother is crying her eyes out
And I
In my dreams
Hear your voice

Father, will you take me away
Father will you take and save me from my fate
Father, will you take me away
Father will you take and save me from my fate
Wanted to go Look for you

A hundred times
But I couldn’t leave her alone
The end of the world ruined our home
Yet didn’t destroy our hope
Acid rain is pouring down
On the caravans of shadows
Once they used to be humans
Dying of too much choice
Devoid of trust and empathy
They were passing each other
Now
Together
With raised hands
In tears
They call out at the sky

Father, will you take me away
Father will you take and save me from my fate
Father, will you take me away
Father will you take and save me from my fate

I’d like to tell you
What I dream about
I’d like to say
How much I miss you
But
I say sorry
So come my darling
Come to me
I’m sorry
I’m dying on the tree
I’d like to tell you
That it’s not too late
I’d like to say
That I won with myself
But I say sorry
So come my darling
Come to me
Sorry I’m dying on the tree
With the world beneath my feet

So you found me after all
Pile of rocks
And two nailed boards

Linger beside me
You’re all I have left
Tell me the story of your life
There’s so much that
I have got to find out
Until the next darkness arrives
I do not have too many requirements
Only one wish
Before you go
And before I crumble back into the dust
Take me to the river down below
Take me to the river down below

Stay
Sit down
And get some rest
Since you came across my place

Linger beside me
You’re all I have left
Tell me the story of your life
There’s so much that
I have got to find out
Until the next darkness arrives
I do not have too many requirements
Only one wish
Before you go
And before I crumble back into the dust
Take me to the river down below
Take me to the river down below

And before I crumble back into the dust...
And before I crumble back into the dust...

Wait in silence
Until the stars go dark
My companion
With your cracked, withered heart

That day is coming
I know that you're calling on me
That day is coming
I know that you're calling on me
I don't want you to make me wait too long
It's time to get on the road

Half dead colours
Residues of my soul
Caught by the wind
Hunting
Thirsty for love

That day is coming
I know that you're calling on me
That day is coming
I know that you're calling on me
I don't want you to make me wait too long
It's time to get on the road

Close your eyes
Don't be afraid
I'm with you
This place is safe
We found a camp
We have supplies
They will let us stay the night

Close your eyes
I'll tuck you in
Mum will sing
To make you sleep
Don't mind the noise
They're just the bombs
A part of music for this song

When the night
Begins to fall
You and I
In a safety zone
The former world
Shall not return
But we'll survive intact
Again