Mass Merchanditis
The hazy feeling one gets after spending too much time shopping at large chain stores,... headache, dry eyes, blurred vision, blank stare, sore feet.
cheese and rice
less offensive way of saying "Jesus Christ"
manicorn
a mythical male creature who is successful (read: pursuing his passion and can pay his electric bills/rent), funny, chivalrous, masculine (read: not chauvinistic), adventurous, artistic (read: not suicidal).
politiclone
A political pundit or commentator who is unable to think for her/himself.
poopular
Adjective. Popular on the outside, poopy on the inside.
flirtationship
When you regularly flirt with an acquaintance or friend but do no more.
Frisbeetarianism
The philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck. (George Carlin)
Shituation
n.: a bad situation, 2.: a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.
How Sean Connery pronounces the word 'situation'.
Homing from Work
Using work time and resources for personal tasks.
Consumerican
An individual suffering from the particularly American brand of consumerism.
slacktivism
The act of participating in obviously pointless activities as an expedient alternative to actually expending effort to fix a problem.
disneyfication
The act of taming the world to make it all safe, clean, and completely simlar to a theme park.
To remove the sharp edges and darkness that is life.
compunicate
When you are in the same room with someone, each on seperate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person
Monthiversary
Similar to anniversary, but occuring every month. For people who are overzealous about a new relationship.
refrigerator blindness
Selective loss of visual acuity in association with common foraging of the refrigerator. Predominantly seen in children and males.
parking karma
The uncanny ability to find an open parking space in a desirable location of a busy parking lot.
mow the londry
Doing a load of laundry after allowing clothes to pile up on your bedroom floor for weeks.
extheist
Someone who was raised with religion but later abandoned the practice.
tolerance juice
Any concoction of alcohol used to help tolerate a person, a place, or a situation.
In theory, the more tolerance juice you consume, the less annoyed you will be.
lesbro
A man who prefers the company of lesbians over straight women. The lesbro is often gay himself.
Bromance
Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.
sexsuade
To convince someone to agree to accept, or do something, usually by using the promise of sex (explicit or implicit) or by withholding sex until you get your way.
dejabrew
Much like deja vu dejabrew is when you start to remember things you did last night while drinking an excessive amount of beer.
yellular
The loudness one adopts in response to a bad cell-phone connection, in the misguided hope that talking louder will improve the connection.
lol theory
The theory that the internet phrase lol,meaning "laugh out loud", can be placed at any part in any sentence and make said sentence lose all credibilty and seriousness.
Doc: We need to operate on your colon lol, you have cancer.
trusticles
Having the balls to trust someone in a difficult situation, when the failure of that trust would result in injury or financial loss.
bedgasm
A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.
pornocchio
A person who embellishes their sexcapades to sound cooler.
screwvenir
anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone's house after you've slept with them.
Facebookemon
Someone you don't really know , but would like people to think you do.
nonversation
A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events where meaningful conversation is nearly impossible.
Enragement ring
A piece of jewelry, typically a ring, that is purchased for a girlfriend in an effort to make her happy after you have made her angry.
half your age plus seven
one may not make a Romantic/erotic/sexual move toward someone who is not at least half one's age, plus seven more years.
mascary
when a person wears a scary amount of mascara
vegeterian vampire
A vampire that drinks the blood of animals and resists the blood of humans, thus leading to say they are vegeterians.
Kitchenheimer's
When you're in the kitchen going around in circles because you can't remember what you were doing there.
chevrolegs
The kind of vehicle you own when you can't afford a car
parentnoia
The state of limbo in waiting for yourself or your sexual partner to get her period. Symptoms include restricted spending, diminished sexual activity with that partner, typical lowered substance abuse/toxin consumption, and an overall state of tension or anxiety.
Spanglish
Urban American language. Not quite English, Not quite Spanish
Earth
God's reality TV show.
television
The early 21st century drug of choice. A shared illusion, making its addicts think they have friends, a life, access to good information, and the critical thinking skills to form valid opinions. Fatal in large doses.
drop the needle
To play a vinyl record.
sexile
To banish a roomate from the room/dorm/apartment for the purpose of engaging in intimate relations with one's significant other/sex partner.
Cinematard
One who is completely lacking movie knowledge.
linner
a meal between lunch and dinner.
nillionaire
Person without any money of their own.
errorist
Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes. Says stuff he believes is true, but anyone with common sense can see he's wrong. A dumbass.
nano nap
An unintentional, seconds-long nap that you take most often in class or a really boring meeting. So short that usually nobody but you notices.
sapiosexual
One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
cafediem
Caffeinate the day.
commercide
When a e-commerce site is so slow that you just can't buy anything from them.
testiculate
To move one's hands and arms expressively while talking bollox
Kodak courage
An extra dose of courage and the tendency to go beyond one's usual physical limits when being filmed or photographed (from action sports such as skateboarding, snowboarding, and extreme skiing).
youniverse
The entirety of creation that relates to one specific, narcissistic individual. Used to indicate that a particular person has knowledge only of him or herself -- their universe consists only of them.
frenemy
An enemy disguised as a friend.
accountabilabuddy
A friend, maybe a best friend, who you get into trouble with and who is somewhat responsible for your actions.
5 second rule
An unwritten law dictating that if a food or other consumable item is dropped onto the floor, it may be picked up and eaten within five seconds. The reasoning behind this is that dirt and germs take six seconds to transfer from one surface to another.
floordrobe
A form of storage for clothing which requires no hangers, drawers, doors or effort. Simply drop on the floor and you have a floordrobe.
epiphanot
An idea that at first seems like an amazing insight (at least to the conceiver) but later turns out to be pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect, and often is the root cause of bad decisions. Mostly occurs under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Truthenize
Like Euthenize. But with the truth.
sticktoitivness
The ability to persevere and endure to the point of overcoming a particulaly difficult obstacle.
Sheeple
People unable to think for themselves. Followers. Lemmings. Those with no cognitive ablilities of their own.
procrastishower
The super long shower one takes when they have something better to do, like study for a chemistry exam
unobtanium
the material that something you cant find is made out of, like hard to find car parts.
dudess
the female term for dude.
Chrismukkah
The holiday mixture of Hannukkah and Christmas for those of us who have a dad who's Christian and mom who's Jewish or vice versa.
Enterdrainment
Any passive form of entertainment that is so incredibly mind numbing that it ***** the intelligence from the listener or viewer; ultimately over time reducing (or limiting) them to a simplistic proto-human mental state, incapable of cognition or rational thought.
Treeware
Documents made of paper, like an anablog, in contrast to electronic documents.
urban amish
Someone who has none of the technological devices that have become a part of our daily lives, such as television, microwave, gaming platform or home computer.
homoblivious
the complete lack of "gaydar."
workmare
A nightmare that is derived directly from your place of employment, including your job, co-workers, duties and/or responsibilities while on the job.
The hazy feeling one gets after spending too much time shopping at large chain stores,... headache, dry eyes, blurred vision, blank stare, sore feet.
cheese and rice
less offensive way of saying "Jesus Christ"
manicorn
a mythical male creature who is successful (read: pursuing his passion and can pay his electric bills/rent), funny, chivalrous, masculine (read: not chauvinistic), adventurous, artistic (read: not suicidal).
politiclone
A political pundit or commentator who is unable to think for her/himself.
poopular
Adjective. Popular on the outside, poopy on the inside.
flirtationship
When you regularly flirt with an acquaintance or friend but do no more.
Frisbeetarianism
The philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck. (George Carlin)
Shituation
n.: a bad situation, 2.: a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.
How Sean Connery pronounces the word 'situation'.
Homing from Work
Using work time and resources for personal tasks.
Consumerican
An individual suffering from the particularly American brand of consumerism.
slacktivism
The act of participating in obviously pointless activities as an expedient alternative to actually expending effort to fix a problem.
disneyfication
The act of taming the world to make it all safe, clean, and completely simlar to a theme park.
To remove the sharp edges and darkness that is life.
compunicate
When you are in the same room with someone, each on seperate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person
Monthiversary
Similar to anniversary, but occuring every month. For people who are overzealous about a new relationship.
refrigerator blindness
Selective loss of visual acuity in association with common foraging of the refrigerator. Predominantly seen in children and males.
parking karma
The uncanny ability to find an open parking space in a desirable location of a busy parking lot.
mow the londry
Doing a load of laundry after allowing clothes to pile up on your bedroom floor for weeks.
extheist
Someone who was raised with religion but later abandoned the practice.
tolerance juice
Any concoction of alcohol used to help tolerate a person, a place, or a situation.
In theory, the more tolerance juice you consume, the less annoyed you will be.
lesbro
A man who prefers the company of lesbians over straight women. The lesbro is often gay himself.
Bromance
Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.
sexsuade
To convince someone to agree to accept, or do something, usually by using the promise of sex (explicit or implicit) or by withholding sex until you get your way.
dejabrew
Much like deja vu dejabrew is when you start to remember things you did last night while drinking an excessive amount of beer.
yellular
The loudness one adopts in response to a bad cell-phone connection, in the misguided hope that talking louder will improve the connection.
lol theory
The theory that the internet phrase lol,meaning "laugh out loud", can be placed at any part in any sentence and make said sentence lose all credibilty and seriousness.
Doc: We need to operate on your colon lol, you have cancer.
trusticles
Having the balls to trust someone in a difficult situation, when the failure of that trust would result in injury or financial loss.
bedgasm
A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.
pornocchio
A person who embellishes their sexcapades to sound cooler.
screwvenir
anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone's house after you've slept with them.
Facebookemon
Someone you don't really know , but would like people to think you do.
nonversation
A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events where meaningful conversation is nearly impossible.
Enragement ring
A piece of jewelry, typically a ring, that is purchased for a girlfriend in an effort to make her happy after you have made her angry.
half your age plus seven
one may not make a Romantic/erotic/sexual move toward someone who is not at least half one's age, plus seven more years.
mascary
when a person wears a scary amount of mascara
vegeterian vampire
A vampire that drinks the blood of animals and resists the blood of humans, thus leading to say they are vegeterians.
Kitchenheimer's
When you're in the kitchen going around in circles because you can't remember what you were doing there.
chevrolegs
The kind of vehicle you own when you can't afford a car
parentnoia
The state of limbo in waiting for yourself or your sexual partner to get her period. Symptoms include restricted spending, diminished sexual activity with that partner, typical lowered substance abuse/toxin consumption, and an overall state of tension or anxiety.
Spanglish
Urban American language. Not quite English, Not quite Spanish
Earth
God's reality TV show.
television
The early 21st century drug of choice. A shared illusion, making its addicts think they have friends, a life, access to good information, and the critical thinking skills to form valid opinions. Fatal in large doses.
drop the needle
To play a vinyl record.
sexile
To banish a roomate from the room/dorm/apartment for the purpose of engaging in intimate relations with one's significant other/sex partner.
Cinematard
One who is completely lacking movie knowledge.
linner
a meal between lunch and dinner.
nillionaire
Person without any money of their own.
errorist
Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes. Says stuff he believes is true, but anyone with common sense can see he's wrong. A dumbass.
nano nap
An unintentional, seconds-long nap that you take most often in class or a really boring meeting. So short that usually nobody but you notices.
sapiosexual
One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
cafediem
Caffeinate the day.
commercide
When a e-commerce site is so slow that you just can't buy anything from them.
testiculate
To move one's hands and arms expressively while talking bollox
Kodak courage
An extra dose of courage and the tendency to go beyond one's usual physical limits when being filmed or photographed (from action sports such as skateboarding, snowboarding, and extreme skiing).
youniverse
The entirety of creation that relates to one specific, narcissistic individual. Used to indicate that a particular person has knowledge only of him or herself -- their universe consists only of them.
frenemy
An enemy disguised as a friend.
accountabilabuddy
A friend, maybe a best friend, who you get into trouble with and who is somewhat responsible for your actions.
5 second rule
An unwritten law dictating that if a food or other consumable item is dropped onto the floor, it may be picked up and eaten within five seconds. The reasoning behind this is that dirt and germs take six seconds to transfer from one surface to another.
floordrobe
A form of storage for clothing which requires no hangers, drawers, doors or effort. Simply drop on the floor and you have a floordrobe.
epiphanot
An idea that at first seems like an amazing insight (at least to the conceiver) but later turns out to be pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect, and often is the root cause of bad decisions. Mostly occurs under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Truthenize
Like Euthenize. But with the truth.
sticktoitivness
The ability to persevere and endure to the point of overcoming a particulaly difficult obstacle.
Sheeple
People unable to think for themselves. Followers. Lemmings. Those with no cognitive ablilities of their own.
procrastishower
The super long shower one takes when they have something better to do, like study for a chemistry exam
unobtanium
the material that something you cant find is made out of, like hard to find car parts.
dudess
the female term for dude.
Chrismukkah
The holiday mixture of Hannukkah and Christmas for those of us who have a dad who's Christian and mom who's Jewish or vice versa.
Enterdrainment
Any passive form of entertainment that is so incredibly mind numbing that it ***** the intelligence from the listener or viewer; ultimately over time reducing (or limiting) them to a simplistic proto-human mental state, incapable of cognition or rational thought.
Treeware
Documents made of paper, like an anablog, in contrast to electronic documents.
urban amish
Someone who has none of the technological devices that have become a part of our daily lives, such as television, microwave, gaming platform or home computer.
homoblivious
the complete lack of "gaydar."
workmare
A nightmare that is derived directly from your place of employment, including your job, co-workers, duties and/or responsibilities while on the job.