Mušterija je uvek u pravu, reče neko davno...
Hmmm.... Da li je baš uvek tako?
1. This is everything we asked for but not what we wanted.
2. I already paid for the googles, I just want my website on there!
3. I know what will make this easier… Holograms!
4. Me: ”When you click on the button it takes you to the Paypal donation page that you set up.”
Client: “What do you mean? I don’t want the donate button to do this, I want it to automatically charge their card. These are seniors they won’t understand this if I don’t. You can’t have them type stuff in.”
Me: “But you wanted to go with Paypal because you couldn’t afford a secured shopping cart website. Either way, at some point they will have to type in their information.”
Client: ”Can’t you just take their credit card information without them knowing? That way they won’t get confused.
5. Client: I talked to God for a couple hours last night, and he agreed that I shouldn’t have to pay you
6. Client: ”Your rates are too high! I’ll do the design myself, and then you can do the implementation.”
Me: ”Okay, that’s fine, just send me the files when you’re finished.”
Client: ”Just one question- how many centimeters is a pixel?”
7. Really good medicine
“I need someone who can build me a really kick ass looking website in exchange for some really good medicine. Email for more details.”
8. The Forbidden Fruit
Client: Hey, just one final question before I send the deposit. Do you use a PC or a MAC?
Me: I use a MAC.
Client: That is a problem. Do you have access to a PC? I am not a supporter of Apple products.
Me: No, I don’t have access to a PC, but this will have little to no effect on the work itself.
Client: I am a Christian and Apple products are sinful, I do not want our website to be created by a product made by this corrupt group. You need only look at their logo, an apple with a bite taken from it. Do you not know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? If I allowed you to create my website on a MAC I would be just like Adam, taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.
[Silence]
“Take my advise, destroy your mac and repent for when judgement day comes. It shall be you who is cast to hell for your sins.”
Me: [Block Contact]
9. Cat Lover Wanted
I need a php programmer to make a website for my cat. My cat has win many awards, it is very nice cat. I can send you some pictures of it. This will be for your portfolio. There is no pay but if you like cats you will love to do this project for my cat. My cat was on a tv show for cats who like to use toilet and he flush. People will always like to come and see this website, you can get a lot of xposures!
10. Etsy Poetry
I want a very uniqe bussniess card made
im thinking all black
with a unicorn on her hind legs
and purple writeing
showing my business name
and my easy link
with words
saying
“hand made crafts”
I want to see samples of what u made so i cAn decide if your good enough. If u like u can put ur name on the business card to. But in small print. I do not want to pay a lot of money for this. So please start small.
Ideal price: $0.01
11. We don’t need you to do our promotional campaigns anymore. We’ve just bought InDesign and someone’s coming in to do a two-hour workshop on how to use it. We’ll be able to handle all the design ourselves from now on. We might give you the odd phone call for a bit of advice here and there — you won’t mind will you?
12. Client: ”Can you make the ‘About Us’ link say ‘About Us - Everyone welcome’?”
Me: “Sure, but…why?”
Client: ”I’m afraid people might not know they’re allowed to click that link. They might think it’s private. We need them to know it’s okay for them to go there.”
Me: ”But none of the links on your site are private. Why are you concerned with that specific one?”
Client: “Good point. You’d better add ‘Everyone welcome’ to all the links on the site.”
Hmmm.... Da li je baš uvek tako?
1. This is everything we asked for but not what we wanted.
2. I already paid for the googles, I just want my website on there!
3. I know what will make this easier… Holograms!
4. Me: ”When you click on the button it takes you to the Paypal donation page that you set up.”
Client: “What do you mean? I don’t want the donate button to do this, I want it to automatically charge their card. These are seniors they won’t understand this if I don’t. You can’t have them type stuff in.”
Me: “But you wanted to go with Paypal because you couldn’t afford a secured shopping cart website. Either way, at some point they will have to type in their information.”
Client: ”Can’t you just take their credit card information without them knowing? That way they won’t get confused.
5. Client: I talked to God for a couple hours last night, and he agreed that I shouldn’t have to pay you
6. Client: ”Your rates are too high! I’ll do the design myself, and then you can do the implementation.”
Me: ”Okay, that’s fine, just send me the files when you’re finished.”
Client: ”Just one question- how many centimeters is a pixel?”
7. Really good medicine
“I need someone who can build me a really kick ass looking website in exchange for some really good medicine. Email for more details.”
8. The Forbidden Fruit
Client: Hey, just one final question before I send the deposit. Do you use a PC or a MAC?
Me: I use a MAC.
Client: That is a problem. Do you have access to a PC? I am not a supporter of Apple products.
Me: No, I don’t have access to a PC, but this will have little to no effect on the work itself.
Client: I am a Christian and Apple products are sinful, I do not want our website to be created by a product made by this corrupt group. You need only look at their logo, an apple with a bite taken from it. Do you not know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? If I allowed you to create my website on a MAC I would be just like Adam, taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.
[Silence]
“Take my advise, destroy your mac and repent for when judgement day comes. It shall be you who is cast to hell for your sins.”
Me: [Block Contact]
9. Cat Lover Wanted
I need a php programmer to make a website for my cat. My cat has win many awards, it is very nice cat. I can send you some pictures of it. This will be for your portfolio. There is no pay but if you like cats you will love to do this project for my cat. My cat was on a tv show for cats who like to use toilet and he flush. People will always like to come and see this website, you can get a lot of xposures!
10. Etsy Poetry
I want a very uniqe bussniess card made
im thinking all black
with a unicorn on her hind legs
and purple writeing
showing my business name
and my easy link
with words
saying
“hand made crafts”
I want to see samples of what u made so i cAn decide if your good enough. If u like u can put ur name on the business card to. But in small print. I do not want to pay a lot of money for this. So please start small.
Ideal price: $0.01
11. We don’t need you to do our promotional campaigns anymore. We’ve just bought InDesign and someone’s coming in to do a two-hour workshop on how to use it. We’ll be able to handle all the design ourselves from now on. We might give you the odd phone call for a bit of advice here and there — you won’t mind will you?
12. Client: ”Can you make the ‘About Us’ link say ‘About Us - Everyone welcome’?”
Me: “Sure, but…why?”
Client: ”I’m afraid people might not know they’re allowed to click that link. They might think it’s private. We need them to know it’s okay for them to go there.”
Me: ”But none of the links on your site are private. Why are you concerned with that specific one?”
Client: “Good point. You’d better add ‘Everyone welcome’ to all the links on the site.”