bez uvrede (nisam ja... zeka je)

ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't
give a f*ck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less.
You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with
most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you
constantly smell of piss.

GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a
neurotic schizophrenic. A real f*cking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill
themselves to win a bet.

CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're
an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone.
You are likely to be murdered.

LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything.
In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never
amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the
welfare.

VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're
prone to bullsh*tting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers
and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an
asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you.
Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your
only good traits. You screw small animals and love piking your nose. You
always have snot on your clothes.

SAGITTARIUS
You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are
likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.

CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean
self-centred c*nt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an
altar boy.

AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal
system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite.
Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppywearing fishnet tights.

This is obviously a major bullsh*t. Everyone knows that the aquarius is absolutely perfect in every way, sign of the real genious. That stuff for all the other signs however, is totally true...


PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no
grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the
greatest living moron. You will continually
fail. You're a prick.

eeee... sad pocinjem da verujem u horoskop... i to najozbiljnije... po prvi put da nesto kaze sto se odnosi na moj znak

Hm... Taj Labrador mi se svijda.... Volim visoke momke! 8)

I LIKE IT...

E, ako neko ima anti-horoskop, nek izbaci.

Evo ti anti-horoskop:

WARNING : You must read all the following articles , without considering your date of birth. This one has no influence on your future, and you must follow all wise advices you may find.

CAPRICORN: You mustn't go to your usual astrologer. The conjuction of his dishonesty and avidity is a danger for you. Your only solution is to take decisions according to logical only. This method may surprise you at first but you'll consider it as the only wise one after.

AQUARIUS: The alignment of your astrologer's income and tax declaration is only an illusion. This is the perfect opportunity to cease this relationship you have been maintaining with him or her for too many years.

PISCES: You will have some great opportunities. Don't waste them by listening the bad advices astrologer swindlers might give you. These people don't know the facts and therefore can't provide you any kind of help. On the countrary, listening to them may inflict injury to your furure!

ARIES: After a deep disappointment, a good looking and fair person will approach you and become one of your relatives. He will claim to be able to help you by predicting your future. Don't even listen to him! He can't do anything for you and only wants to take profit from your misfortune!

TAURUS: You are about to make a huge mistake, you have read an advertisment for a so-called very well known astrologer and have been interested by his services. Don't continue this in any way! If you have already taken contact, go and travel abroad for the next year, just to have time to be erased from the lists of this dishonest person.

GEMINI: The way you see the world will totally change in a close future because you took the decision not to read your favourite newspapers' horoscopes anymore. You will then begin to realize that our world is rational when you will read the other pages in these newpapers.

CANCER: You recently met new friends, with whom you have very much in common. However, they will want to share with you their favourite hobby : astrology. If they insist, you shall definitely refuse their proposal because they despise your intelligence. On the countrary, chose to convince them to stop this ridiculous and useless activity. If you succeed in bringing them back to the right way, you will get their forever gratitude.

LEO: You will very soon get admiration and respect from your relatives when you will tell them you don't believe in astrology anymore. This position will grant you a great respect from them and they will immediately stop laughing at you because of stupid believes.

VIRGO: Your economic situation will soon substantially improve. Indeed you took the right decision when stopping wasting amounts of money in astral predictions without any interest.

LIBRA: You will soon drown in the doubts caused by a chaos period. You will indeed soon listen two different astrologers who will tell you two fully different predictions. You won't know who must be believed, and then realize that the best solution is to listen none of them.

SCORPIO: Your personality has developped itself in the good way, and then you get extremely angry when you realize that during many years you believed in astrology, as it was only one of the biggest swindle in human history. Please try to limit your anger, you'd better think about all these people who have not dropped these stupid believes yet.

SAGITTARIUS: Your psychological balance is facing a big threat: a parasite astrolger has irrupted in your life and you commited the mistake to listen to him, once weakened. This sindler you can't ged rid of is now really poisoning your life. You can't even think normally anymore. Please get rid of him, while you remain a little bit lucid, because once this astrologer will have clearing your brain, you won't be able to avoid his underhands.

Hvala...
Nije da sam mazohista, ali mislila sam da cu dobiti malo vise "uvreda"