Osmeh dana

Cak i za vranjanski dijalekat moras da budes pismena: :lol:

"Prase" - se ne pise tako, nego - Pra se ! (akcenat na "a")
"Slonče"- se ne pise tako nego - S' lonce!

I onda ne bi imala problema da skapiras vic. ;)

A bre, Modesti, ovaj vic je mozgalica.
Da sam tako napisala, svi bi ga shvatili.
Ovako su neki bili u dilemi ko je glup - oni ili ja.:huh:
Nisi morala da im serviraš rešenje.
 
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Dolazi Crnogorac u bircuz negde u Vojvodini, opasao tri jatagana i seda za susedni sto gde su sedela dvojica Lala.
Kaže jedan Lala drugom:
- Ta vidi onog Crnogorca, kaki su mu ono nožovi za pojasom?
- Ta otkud znam. Ako te baš tolko zanima idi pa ga pitaj - odgovara drugi Lala.
- Pa baš me zdravo zanima čim se bavi kad mu trebadu onolike brice???

Radoznao, Lala ode i pita Crnogorca:
- Je li Ti, drug Crnogorac, kaki su ti to nožovi?
- Čuj nožovi, jadan ne bio, viđe li ti da su ovo jatagani? Ovi prvi, š njim je moj đed posjeka trista glava.
- Ovi drugi, š njim je moj otac posjeka dvesta glava, a ovi treći, š njim sam ja posjeka sto glava.

Vraća se Lala za svoj sto i kaže drugom Lali:

- Kolko sam ja razum'o, radi nešto s kupusom...
 
Dobih u mailu :lol:

WHITE WOMEN:


First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date:
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third date:
You get to have sex but only when
she wants to and only in the missionary position.


IRISH WOMEN:

First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Ann iversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.


ITALIAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date:
You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date:
You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.

5th Ann iversary:
You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

6th Ann iversary:
You find yourself a Mistress.



CHINESE WOMEN:


First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized
nothing is ever going to happen.



INDIAN WOMEN:


First date:
Meet her parents.

Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.

Third date:
Wedding night.




BLACK WOMEN:

First Date:
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date:
You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date:
You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date:
She's pregnant by someone other than you.



MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have
sex in the back of her car.

Second Date:
She's pregnant.

Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters,
her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend
and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest
of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a
home along the Tijuana strip.




JEWISH WOMEN:

First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress

Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image

Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier



ARAB WOMEN:

First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire Arab community finds out.

Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.

No third date!!








The POINT?

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
 

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