You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't
give a f*ck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less.
You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with
most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you
constantly smell of piss.
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a
neurotic schizophrenic. A real f*cking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill
themselves to win a bet.
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're
an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone.
You are likely to be murdered.
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything.
In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never
amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're
prone to bullsh*tting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers
and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an
asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you.
Nobody will go to your funeral.
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your
only good traits. You screw small animals and love piking your nose. You
always have snot on your clothes.
You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are
likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean
self-centred c*nt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal
system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite.
Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppywearing fishnet tights.
This is obviously a major bullsh*t. Everyone knows that the aquarius is absolutely perfect in every way, sign of the real genious. That stuff for all the other signs however, is totally true...
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no
grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the
greatest living moron. You will continually
fail. You're a prick.