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Weapons Scientist Dismisses Boron Ion Disruptor as Laughable
Respected beam weapons expert Doctor Yba t'Grrt has made a number of disparaging remarks concerning the new Boron weapon known as an ion disruptor. How typical of the Boron to develop a weapon that does not destroy ships but only incapacitates their shields. It is the usual muddle-headed thinking from the Boron. A ship's shields are not the primary issue, particularly when our Split mass-drivers are to the fore! Asked about the possibility of the Boron using their ion disruptors in conjunction with traditional beam weapons, Doctor t'Grrt was equally dismissive. Those Boron fools would not know how to synchronize an attack in the necessary fashion. I am happy that they concentrate and waste their energies on this device. We Split have no need of such a thing and naturally our technology is of the highest order.&Military officials from the leading families have declined to comment on the new Boron weapon but it is thought pilots are being trained to deal with it despite Doctor t'Grrt's remarks.
Argon Attendances at Ghok Deathmatches Rising
Numbers of Argon Federation citizens travelling to Ghok Deathmatch events are increasing. While the Families have been at peace with the Federation for a number of jazura, tensions still run high between our races. However, it is noticeable that certain class of Argon enjoys the spectacle of our tradition sport. Teladi gamblers have long been regular visitors to the large events but as is their way seem only interested in the profits of their betting. Argons, certainly those that come, seem interested in the finer points of the sport and behave respectfully towards our traditions. Egi t'Rcss, Chief Deathmatch Referee for Family Pride sector, said It is gratifying that Argons take such an interest in out traditional sport. While I would not class them with Split, I am aware they are decent fighters and perhaps it is not too surprising. As long as they behave with honour, I am pleased to see them in the arena audiences. It is estimated that Argon tourism in Split sectors, most of which is connected to Ghok Deathmatches, brought in over 36 million credits last jazura and this is expected to increase substantially over the current jazura.
Ghok Deathmatch Festival in Chin's Clouds
The All Families Ghok Deathmatch Festival is to be held in Chin's Clouds this jazura and will feature a number of well-known professional gladiators together with open competitions for all-comers. The honour of hosting the festival has fallen to Family Chin once again and the decision was taken to hold the event in the Clouds in order to boost the profile of that sector. The title of Paramount Gladiator will once more be for the taking and famed gladiators such as Yla t'Rqlm, Huhmyq t'Ftzs and Ohoth t'Twcc will be travelling to the Chin's Clouds Grand Arena on the main planet. Together with the honour of the title is a purse of 3,000,000 credits. Events include a variety of match styles and weapon combinations. The traditional single-combat with knives and axes will of course be featured. The exciting double Ghok with shock-staffs are planned for both professional and amateur completions. Also in the line-up will be triple Ghok with semi-automatic pistols, a new and most popular variant of our ancient sport.
Ghok Deathmatch Gladiator to Retire in Unprecedented Move
Renowned Gladiator Toque t'Fttf has announced his retirement from the sport in an extraordinary and unprecedented statement. The five-times Paramount Gladiator is now in his 50th year of professional deathmatching and has confirmed that it will be his last. No professional gladiator has previously retired in the history of the sport. It has been a universal rule that professionals die in the arena. However, no previous professional has survived beyond 40 years of deathmatching, let alone 50. It is a mark of the skill of Toqaw t'Fvtt that he has reached this stage. It is said that the doughty fighter was persuaded to retire by the Professional Deathmatchers Club. They have offered him a contract as supervisor of a planned academy of deathmatchers. No shame devolves on Toqaw t'Fvtt, particularly as he fights with a prosthetic leg and arm. The PDC may be concerned that a way for older deathmatchers to retire should be established. A number of professionals are heading towards 50 years of deathmatching and the Club is concerned to retain their experience to the benefit of all Split.
Innovative Stress Reliever Withdrawn from sale
Many of you may own a Nowhey. For those of you that don't, this clever little planet-designed gadget was aimed at hot-headed Split everywhere. Being a mighty warrior and a little short tempered is not always a good combination! So the Nowhey was designed. Made from innovative flexible materials, it is about half the size of a Split and virtually indestructible. In a moment of rage, it can be stabbed, punched, kicked, bitten and even whipped against a bulkhead and it will not break. It was designed to let angry Split take out their vengeance and temper without hurting anyone or damaging anything. Sadly, the plan has backfired. It seems that most Split are even more furious at not being able to damage the Nowhey, and have started looking for the next best thing, notably each other. After a three fold increase in fatalities in the last wozura alone, the Nowhey has now been withdrawn from sale and all use of them banned in public places. This should be a lesson to all Split - a warrior's spirit can never be subdued.
Terraforming Hardware Captured
Secret files have revealed that Split Special Services have recently captured state-of-the art terraforming machines from an unknown race. It is not known whether the technology is that of the Xenon or of another race. At present the Split government do not wish to disclose any further information that they may have discovered. The scientific community has currently rejected the existence of any new terraforming technology until they have proof and evidence of such hardware from the Split Government.
Recent Raids Against Xenon Prove Successful
During the past 2 wozura, a heavy concentration of attacks against Xenon in their home sectors has taken place. Never straying far from the jump gates, Split forces were able to destroy many smaller Xenon craft before jumping back to safety prior to attack by a Xenon capital ship. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a cowardly way for the Split to fight, but merely using the appropriate tactics for this situation - pilots were keen to emphasize this. The attacks were made in a successful attempt to stem similar style raids by the Xenon into Split sectors. Whilst this will work over the short term, the ultimate goal is of course to destroy the Xenon Shipyard. No such attempt was made during this recent assault. Over 30 Xenon ships have been destroyed so far, and military commanders are hailing this as a great victory. Unconfirmed reports put Split fatalities at less than 5. We shall not forget them.