Truth be said I was greatly disappointed that we are engaging in such proposals as for the expansion of The National Historical Museum. For what purpose would a small and worthless people like the Albanians need a National Historical Museum? The pacifist thing to do with it would be to raise it to the ground completely. First of all since it occupies one fourth of the main square in Tirana (I do not dare to call the square by its name because I’m afraid that I might echo Nationhood or sound like a anacrotic nationalist). While raising it to the ground, together with all that mosaic ( where the pick tool is missing, meaning the destructive object which the communists had it as the symbol of construction), more free space will open up in the square, thus creating the means for the political parties to organize demonstrations, rallies and massive political concerts. Gains of which the little things like history works will never give you.
Understandably, before the dynamite is put to the National Historical Museum to be raised to the ground, preparations have to be made.
First of all, with a humane soul, the Museum personnel has to be notified to leave. All but Moikom Zeqo, who deserves to be left there and be destroyed for his anti-globalist activities. After this there is a very careful job to be done for the removal and the departure to their destination of all the materials of great value. For example, all the vases, statues, and the work tools gathered from antiquity have to be spread out to those whom they belong. This is not a easy job, that is why good experts, native and outsiders have to be called in and judge. In fact the natives should not be called at all because they are nationalists. It’s better to do this job with the outsiders only. Especially with the neighbours. We first invite the Greeks and we tell them: “Come dear folks, Greek scientists. Here we have all the objects of the National Historic Museum, which is of no use to us. Take what belongs to you. Everything that belongs to the Hellenic civilization” …Then..
Wait a minute. This doesn’t seem very logical. The Greeks will not leave anything behind. Not only the findings of Bënçë, but even the dust brume of the cleaners of the Museum will emerge as Hellenic objects. I’m afraid that such thing will be unjust and will not go well with the Latins and the Slavonics who will remain with a thumb up their mouth. That is why it would be best to invite the Greeks, the Italians and the Serbs at the same time, and the Montenegrins and the Bulgarians and the Bosnians, and the French and the Turks, and the Austrians, and the Germans, and the Romanians and Vllahet. They should all be lined up at a starting point and simultaneously start cleaning up the Museum. Not like the cleaning that has been done for centuries in a chronological independent manner, where every one stole values/valuables from the biggest Museum which was called Albania, and were taken to their country with out having direct competition. Not like in those times where the Eglish, Austrian, French, Italian or German counsellors were never bothered by anyone from the surroundings.
It would be beautiful if the whole process would be filmed and transmitted on TV. A very successful “Reality TV” can be created. The right to transmit this should be given to a foreign TV station, while the earnings from this should go to help the homeless in Copenhagen.
Leaving everything in the hands of the foreigners would bring another benefit. They would solve a lot of questions which we are struggling with and unable to find answers for them. For example, they can once and for all clarify if Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (mother Teresa) is Serbian, Macedonian, Vllahian or Rom. While inside the Museum, they would know to scientifically pin point (because only they have the exclusivity of science) in which date and under what circumstances and what premises, has the legend of aksh or some other myth been stolen by these bandit Albanians. How and from whom it was stolen, - the Serbs, the Montenegros, the Bosnians, The Croats, the Macedonians, the Vojvodinians, the Slovenians, or from the whole former Yugoslavia at the same time. Also how much do we owe them in reparations for the things that we stole?
I personally am curious to know to whom will Skernderbeg belong too. Not that I have any particular affection for him, but let us understand each other (that even if I did, I would not dare say it in the open because I would be called a nationalist). I’m just very unclear if he will end up in Beograd, in Athens, in Istanbul or in Sofia.
Sincerely I would not bet on it, even though I would side my self towards Athens. Not because of anything in particular but I’ve heard that Skenderbeg held himself to be a descendant of Pyrrhus of Epir (I hope these are not some ultra-nationalistic rumours) and I know very good that Epir in Greek means Greece. In fact not only Epir. Even the Pelasgians, and Macedonia, Illyria, the Etruscans, Troy, Constantinople, Thrace, Byzantium and before and after Christ, even Christ and everything else connected to the history and the Greek language is translated in to Greece.
After we’ve thoroughly cleaned the ex-National ex-Historical ex-Museum, I would beg to the foreign scholars to hold a symposium titled:
“The final definition of the correct birth date of the Albanian people” clearly orientating them to look for this answer in documents of the 11-th and 19-th century period, and to have as reference mainly Serbian authors, since they have been licensed as the best source for this topic. Let this date be defined once and for all, including the year, the month, the date, and the time. For example, let it be said: The Albanian Nation was born out of nothing on 16-th of February of the year 1372 period. Or, the Albanian nation arrived in the territories of today after a long voyage from the Himalayans, on the 22-nd of April of 1413, at 5:35 morning time, period. This is what I call scientifically correct. All others are suppositions.
The results of this symposium, I would translate them in to every language of the Eastern Europe, places these which need a bit of Democratic culture to shine on them (since even today, 14 years after the fall of the Berlin wall, they are still being called “Ex-Democracies of the East” a term that verifies very well that even today they have fallen under the claws of dictatorships and dream of the bright days of the Democrat Stalin).
Meanwhile we Albanians ( or whatever other nation we are of ) should not cross our hands and do nothing but we should actively be working with the cleaning process: excluding from out nation all those figures that are not Albanians. In the breath of the Parties’ Central Organization plenum, whom had mastered the craft of excluding, let us hit one by one all the dubious and unclear figures, starting from Ali Pasha of Tepelena (Greek), Bushatliu (Montenegrin), Fan Noli (American-Bulgarian), Ismail Kadare (French), Ismail Qemali and Naim Frasheri (Turks), Gjergj Fishta (Italian) and all the others, let us erase from their biography every bit of being Albanian. Actually this job should begin with the players of the National Team who play outside the country, because this way we will spare a lot of trouble to the next generations.
After we’ve cleaned the square thoroughly, after we’ve cleaned the history and the actuality, after we have completely cleaned all of the figures, let’s go out and happily demonstrate arm in arm for the political parties, the pluralist internationalism, the Democratic Globalization, the good neighbourhood of the Balkans and the pure interethnic love.